Doug Mientkiewicz needs to figure a few things out.

The Boston Red Sox backup first baseman is holding onto the ball that was the last out of the 2004 World Series - the first world title since 1918 for the Beantowners - and he needs to figure out how to get some class.

He needs to figure out that it's not just a baseball. It's a symbol to Red Sox fans of the end of 86 years of failure. It's the symbol of the crowning moment in one of the best seasons in team history.

He needs to figure out that he wasn't even an important cog in the team's success - he just happened to be the lucky son of a gun that closed his mitt around St. Louis' 27th out in Game 4.

He needs to figure out that he should give the ball back.

Mientkiewicz was dealt by the Twins to the Red Sox on July 31 because the Minnesota team no longer needed his services thanks to the arrival of hard-hitting first baseman Dustin Morneau.

So after playing a whopping 49 regular-season games for the Sox, and being plugged in as only a defensive sub in the postseason, I can see where he can lay claim to the prized souvenir.

"Of course I want Red Sox fans to see the ball," Mientkiewicz said in a call he made to a radio station. "The main reason I hung on to the darn thing is because I want people to see it."

Now I understand. Mientkiewicz wants Boston fans to see the ball. That's why it's locked in a safe-deposit box in Florida - where everyone can look at it.

As usual, there is a simple solution to this problem for the Red Sox.

All Boston has to do is make a call to the Minnesota Twins to see if the team could borrow Morneau for a couple of hours.

The Red Sox should just send Morneau down to take the ball from Mientkiewicz, since everybody knows Mientkiewicz can't get anything back that Morneau takes from him. (Insert rim shot here.)

But seriously, this shouldn't be that big of a deal, should it? Does Mientkiewicz really need someone to tell him to return the baseball to the Boston Red Sox? Can't Mientkiewicz take the high road for once?

History says no. A couple years back, when the Twins clinched their division in Cleveland, Mientkiewicz chastised Twins fans by saying he was happy to do it on the road because there were actually fans at the game.

He also reportedly caused problems in the clubhouse with Morneau when the youngster's bat had made Morneau a full-time replacement of the light-hitting Mientkiewicz.

This is just another case of Mientkiewicz being in the right place at the right time.

How else do you explain his hanging around the Major Leagues for the last six seasons as a first-baseman? That's a position usually reserved for bashers, and he could maybe hit it out of one of the Clem Kelley diamonds.

He's been the lucky kid brother that gets to tag along, and this time he was shoved over to a team that actually won.

But he has clung onto the spotlight long enough. It's time for him to go back to the shadows of Boston's bench.

The final out of Boston's victory in the 2004 World Series was a memorable one for everybody involved - and for baseball fans all over the place. The souvenir should be in Cooperstown or a Red Sox museum.

Mientkiewicz joked that the baseball was going to be his "retirement fund."

Hilarious. Now just give the ball back, Doug. Be the good guy for a change.

* INJURED OWENS?: Philadelphia wide receiver Terrell Owens broke his ankle on Dec. 19 and was supposedly questionable for the rest of the season.

He didn't look too hurt Sunday during the Eagles' 27-10 victory over Atlanta.

Despite the wind and cold, Owens' ankle felt good enough for him to leap and do chest bumps with teammates early in the game, and the wideout was even dancing on a bench early in the fourth quarter.

Owens has always found a way to turn lemons into lemonade, but come on here. Is everything, including injuries, fun for this guy?

(Kerry Collins is a sportswriter for the Bismarck Tribune.)