There have been some great words of wisdom throughout time. One that comes to mind, stereotypically from and to men, is: "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." Those are words a good number of the incarcerated probably wish they had heeded.

Speaking of men, fathers will often loudly voice a variant warning to mouthy or unruly sons: "Did you hear me? Go to your room!" Moms, however, are softer; they tend to practice the Golden Rule - "Treat others as you want to be treated."

That's why moms are universally loved more than puppy-dog-tailed dads.

But here are some additional words of wisdom: Remember your momma, as this column does, if you know what is good for you! Next Sunday, May 10, is Mother's Day.

Moms generally deserve our love and respect all the time, but Mother's Day might be the one day each year not to forget. Women, the loves of many of our lives, might not let husbands forget it for a while (or without some real repentance), if we miss a birthday, anniversary or Valentine's Day. But when a son or daughter (or even husband) misses a Mother's Day it can cut deeply into a woman's heart and soul. She might not complain, but the pain is there, massaged by the unconditional love for her children and reluctant acceptance of her brain-impaired husband.

Most moms are special in so many ways. None are perfect, and some, unfortunately, struggle at motherhood, but not nearly as many as the number of men who struggle at fatherhood, and in some cases, manhood.

Mothers are just made differently (than fathers) and have the capacity for a unique bond between their sons and daughters.

As my mother's son, I have experienced that love. We didn't always agree, but I never questioned how much she cared for me and I hope she never wondered about my love for her. My wonderful mother passed away a few years back, leaving a void in my life, but I am also blessed with a wonderful wife and mother of our children.

She is like many moms who love all of their kids and even, from time to time, some in need of a surrogate mom. She even loves me - her oldest and biggest kid!

Despite some unforgettable events, the best moms do not forsake their kids, and my four sons are lucky to have such a mom.

My wife, like so many other moms, stood beside a son years ago when police knocked on the door (on two different occasions) inquiring about activities "linked" to her firstborn. A dad, like me, was considering shipping him off to military school, even before finding out if the accusations were legitimate.

As it turned out, he did not start the forest fire, but was only an elementary-school-aged tag-along with the older boys who did. And no, he didn't beat up a man and throw him in the trunk of a car, as witnessed by the woman looking our of her kitchen window while doing dishes. The "victim" was an "actor" in a film he and his friends were making as a high-school class assignment.

The best moms will listen intently, as a best friend would, to a shy son who needs to download when he comes home from school and/or work. Men, like me, too often wish the kid would shut up so we can hear the dialog on the unimportant television show we're watching. We might feel bad later because of our impatience, but at the time we are insensitive couch potatoes.

Mothers have many gifts. One of the greatest my wife has shared is the genetic trait of a kind heart and soul. Men love such a spirit, especially when we are the beneficiary, but we also worry thast the son who inherited the tender heart won't be tough enough in this macho world. A silly thought, no doubt, as the world needs more softies.

Moms can also create special moments. The other morning my wife was sitting, almost snuggling, on a stair next to one of our sons. It was, indeed, a special time, so I walked on by. I wasn't sure what was taking place but I knew I wasn't needed or wanted.

My wife told me later she was fixing an "owie" - anointing an elbow rug burn from an impromptu school wrestling match with a buddy. In reality, our son was old enough to "fix" his own problem, but still young enough to want his mother's affection and attention. Men, like me, would have reacted by saying something like this: "Toughen up … that's nothing … get over it … let me tell you the story about when I … "

There are many other specific reasons and ways that men and children love the wives and mothers in their lives. While we all know them, let me end with a generic confession: Without any qualifiers, my wife is a woman and mother who makes it easy for us (me, four sons and Flash the dog) to love. Every day. Period.

But come Sunday, I will focus my love of her most as a mom - and think wonderful memories of my mother.

Happy Mother's Day!

(You can reach Editor John Irby at 250-8266 or john.irby@bismarcktribune.com and go to http://www.bismarcktribune.com/blog/?wthepaper&e_id2671/ to read his blog.)