The drunken father and his adult son were yelling about the coaches' play calling and the quarterback's weak execution.

"That's the dumbest call I've ever seen," the father shouted, slurring his words. His son's tongue was equally lagging behind his less-than-worthy thoughts: "A quarterback sneak, why … did you run?" he screamed, burping between the "why" and "did." "You bum, you should have passed!"

Never mind that it was second down with less than a yard to go for a first down.

My thought that day was this: Why can't inebriated fans shut up - or pass out?

I hardly ever attend major college football games any more because of those situations. Call me a casualty of over-the-top tailgaters who get too tanked up before the game even starts; I just don't care to be around them.

Some fans consider themselves students of the game. They enjoy sport, how it is played, the strategy, the plot, the action, the drama - and all the best of the rest associated with balls, bats, gloves, sticks, hoops, and you name it.

Movies, in many ways, are similar. Some films entertain. Some make us think. Some exhibit compelling storytelling. Some make us laugh. Some make us cry. Some are a waste of time. They are all open to critique, and movie buffs, like sports fans, often have something to say.

I generally have no complaints with critics of sports or movies. But opinion is best when it is a natural byproduct of rational analysis and some sort of expertise - not alcoholic stupor.

The first thing I say to my wife when we exit a theater is: "So, did you like it?" She tells me, I respond, we discuss some more, and then I usually come around to her point of view. That's because I am not stupid, and I realize she is always right.

Nonetheless, we all have opinions, and the Bismarck Tribune is interested in what you have to say about movies.

We aren't looking for the next Roger Ebert, Gene Siskel, Gene Shalit or Leonard Maltin, but we are looking for a few good men and women, maybe even boys and girls, who know what they like and don't like, and can explain why.

Whatever your age or gender, you could become an armchair critic and have your comments published in the newspaper.

Beginning Friday, the Tribune will publish one movie review per week from a reader whose efforts will be rewarded with two movie passes. Here's all you have to do:

On Mondays, read the Life section's "What's Opening in Theaters This Week" movies briefing. Select a movie to view, either a new release, if it has opened here, or any movie playing in a local theater.

Write a review of no more than 500 words, including the following rankings: * = Don't waste your time ? ** = Not bad ? *** = Time well spent. Then, e-mail it no later than noon Thursday (earlier is better) to Tony Spilde at tony.spilde@;bismarck-tribune.com. To be eligible, a jpeg photo of yourself must be attached and will be published if your review is selected. The winning review, as determined by the Tribune, will be published in Friday's Life section, and selected other reviews will be posted online.

The Tribune is not looking for experienced critics who want to focus exclusively on the elements of film editing, directing and cinematography. While some critical analysis of film is OK, we are most interested in what you thought of the movie.

The armchair critics we want are those who can have fun, within certain self-imposed readership constraints and community standards. We want the armchair critics who will view this interactive opportunity as a forum to tell others why a movie will make you laugh, cry or think. We want critics who can relate to readers how a movie will "move you" and why.

The concept of the reviews we seek does not include critiquing the venue (theater house), refreshment selection, parking convenience or nonfilm related elements of the movie-going experience; we want you to present your layperson opinions of the movie - what might be helpful to others as they make movie selections.

And the concept should be taken for what it is meant to be - fun and entertaining interaction with readers.

So here's your chance to be an armchair critic, to give your opinion about a movie. Check out Monday's Life section of your newspaper and watch for newspaper and online advertisements and promotions explaining how you could become a Bismarck Tribune critic - and win free movie tickets.

(Reach editor John Irby at 250-8266 or john.irby@;bismarcktribune.com.)