Miss Burly-McLean crowned

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WILTON - When it came down to the final vote, the judges were split.

Suspense hung in the air, thick as the contestants' chest hair.

Which of the nine competitors would become the next Miss Burly-McLean? Who would wear the crown, now that the nine-year reign of Hilda Hittamoose, otherwise known around Wilton as the Rev. Paul Schauer, was ending?

Hittamoose-Schauer, gracious in flowered dress and pearls, also served as hostess and greeter for the 300 or so audience members who filled the Wilton School gym, set up like Atlantic City Saturday for the beach party-themed Miss Burly-McLean contest. Hittamoose also gamely served as one of the announcers, forging on despite wearing a pair of silver open-toed wedges which ended about 3 inches before her heels did.

Schauer said on Monday that his feet still hurt. But it was for a good cause.

Beauty pageants will insist the pageants are about more than beauty - these are scholarship pageants. This contest really is, and it raised more than $1,900 for Wilton High School Dollars for Scholars.

Contestants who adopted alter egos such as Ivanna Surf and Iva Sunburn for the sake of good sport-hood included John Thompson, Lyle Hogue, Jamie Schurhamer, Randy Olson, Dustin Clausen, Mike Scharnowske, Donald Noon, Joel Porter and Chris Patrick.

As for the contest, it could be argued that Schauer had stacked the deck - six of the nine contestants were members of his congregation, Sunne Lutheran of rural Wilton, and the eventual winner wore the same evening gown that won the crown for Hittamoose at the last pageant back in 1995.

But the competitors gave 110 percent, wooing the audience with catwalk struts, pouty eyes, air kisses and wowing them with high-tension talent performances, ranging from a standout interpretive ribbon dance, ballet and hula performances to a martial arts demonstration and a snake charmer act.

They worked the audience from the catwalk in swimsuits, which showed well-muscled legs, drawing envy from many women in the bleachers. They dazzled in evening gowns, though a couple weren't quite able to make the zippers go all the way up the back.

Waiting for the judges' decision, the atmosphere in the dressing room was weary but tense.

As the contestants let their hair down - some of them actually took it off - several confided the challenges, the difficulty of finding shoes to fit, of remembering not to ruin their makeup by wiping their eyes and walking in kitten heels. A couple of them said they had new appreciation for what women go through to look good for them.

The judges were finally ready; the contestants put themselves back together and filed out for the climactic moment.

Tears flowed as the others embraced the winner, Miss Pearl Harbor (Patrick, a student at Bismarck State College), a stunning platinum blonde, who received the crown from Hittamoose and took the victory walk.

As the contestants left the platform, a feeling of relief dominated backstage as wigs and high heels came off, gown zippers were loosened, various prosthetics deflated.

But for Hilda Hittamoose, after nine years, this was a bittersweet moment.

But she will have the memory of the applause for her final number, "You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman)" to sustain her.

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