Nicole Fried is small, even by Vietnamese standards, said her uncle, Dave Halvorson of Houston.
Fried, now in her mid-30s, was tiny when she was adopted from an orphanage in Da Nang, Vietnam, at 10 months old; today, she lives in Bismarck with her family, which includes two sons, D.J. and Nick Barth.
In 2006, Halvorson took Fried and her adoptive mother, Sandy Enget of Bismarck, to Vietnam for the first time. Halvorson, who is Enget's brother, took them as a gift to his niece. Having served in Vietnam for 10 months in 1969-70, it was always Halvorson's goal to have her see the country of her birth.
Back then, Halvorson knew that in Vietnam, his niece would be amazed - there, "she's not the only one. There's a sea of Asians. For once, she (won't be) in the minority."
In 2006, Halvorson also said he wanted to give her one more trip to her birthplace:"I want to take her and her boys over when they're older," he said. "This time she went over as the child. When she goes over as a mother, it will be a totally different experience."
q q q
On April 3, Halvorson, Fried and her son, Nick, left for a 14-day visit to Vietnam - a return trip for two of them and a brand-new experience for one.
They traveled throughout Vietnam, from Hanoi to Ho Chih Minh City to Da Nang, sightseeing and touring and immersing themselves in the place.
In any crowd in North Dakota, Nick, now 15 and a freshman at Simle Middle School, can easily spot his mother:She'll be the tiny dark-haired woman.
In Vietnam's crowds, their roles were reversed. Fried had to be on the lookout for Nick; he'd be the tall teen standing out from the rest. He'd tell her, "Mom, Icouldn't find you. Everybody looked like you."
Over the past three years, uncle and niece had talked about a return trip to Vietnam. Her sons were getting older, but the trip is physically strenuous:17-hour flights, two solid weeks of rigorous sightseeing.
But this year, they felt that Nick, at 15, was mature enough to appreciate the experience.
He did. He noticed the food: lots of rice, lots of chicken, lot of fish, spring rolls, soup for breakfast instead of cereal. And he really liked the warmth there, coming out from North Dakota's long, cold winter.
The son and mother found a place which would tailor clothes for them; Fried, who has tiny feet - an adult size 1 or child's size 13 - had six pairs of shoes custom-made for her there, she said.
Fried was startled at how easily Nick began picking up the Vietnamese language, talking to, or at least understanding people they met.
q q q
As a mother, Fried said she wanted to share this other world with Nick, "to have the memory to carry with him for a lifetime."
And when eating dinner one night, Nick requested to say the table prayer, Halvorson said.
"He was very serious, and thanked us all for taking him along on the trip. That's how he showed his appreciation, through a prayer."
When Nick expressed his appreciation in that table prayer, "I knew then what it meant to him,"Fried said. "It was everything I was hoping for."
Halvorson watched mother and son on this trip and was moved by their feelings.
When they were flying over, Fried told her uncle, "I was never proud of being Vietnamese until you brought me over three years ago."
That was so meaningful, he said.
"We just had a great time,"Halvorson said. He and his niece are compatible travelers, and Nick was a perfect gentleman all the time, going out of his was to be cordial and agreeable, he said.
Eventually, Nick will go back, Halvorson said, "and I think Nicole will always go back. She feels pretty connected, especially in the Da Nang area where she was born. She just radiates when she's there."
Fried treasures particularly simply swimming in the sea with her son, just being together in the ocean, she said.
When you see the mountains jutting out of the lakes, children from rowing little boats with their legs, coming out to see the visitors, it's like floating down a dream, Fried said. "That's when you know you're blessed with eyesight."
To share all that with your child, well, "you can explain it all you want, but until you experience it …" she said.
It's nice, Fried said, to share the tradition, "a whole other world that you came from."
Nick is learning Vietnamese through the Rosetta Stone program. Maybe for a next trip, some day.
And back home in his other world? Nick promptly loaded up on pizza and Burger King - he really missed that, he said.
(Reach reporter Karen Herzog at 250-8267 or karen.herzog@;bismarcktribune.com.)
Posted in Local on Monday, May 25, 2009 7:00 pm Updated: 12:21 pm.
© Copyright 2010, BismarckTribune.com, 707 E. Front Ave Bismarck, ND | Terms of Service and Privacy Policy