I don't know that I know too much more about romance now than I did at the age when I first started to pay attention to the concept. And, unfortunately for me, the only thing I really knew then, I gleaned from the Bryan Adams song, "(Everything I Do) IDo It For You," and the movie it came from, "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves."

To the best of my understanding, both when Iwas 13 and to this day, the song tells me that in order for a truly epic love affair to work, Ihave to be willing to do some rather unpleasant things for my sweet Annette, who is nowadays my wifey-poo. Fight for her. Lie for her. Walk the wire for her. Die for her.

Well, I'm in no hurry to do that last one. But what I did do was drive across Montana for her. That's pretty romantic/unpleasant, wouldn't you say?

Montana is a beautiful state. Scenic with a whole lot to see. But therein lies its downfall:There's too much to see. That state is entirely too big. It seemingly takes a fortnight to cross Montana.

But being a couple blessed with more time than money, we decided the best way to honeymoon was to just get in the car and drive. West. Way, way, way to the west.

Our destination was Bozeman, Mont. Why Bozeman? Welike cities whose names start with the letter B, Iguess.

Before you can get to Montana, though, you get the distinct pleasure of driving through some of the more scenic vistas in North Dakota. I think any couple looking for a little romance can do no better than walking hand-in-hand through the streets of Medora on a summer day, sharing an ice cream. The view at Painted Canyon Overlook is absolutely breathtaking. And also, Dickinson:They have a Burger King.

Ikicked off my official "50 Whoppers in 50 States"tour in Dickinson, in case you were wondering.

The city of Billings, Mont., may be a B-town, but it's not my cup of B. It's all refineries and road construction. However, they do have a Pita Pit, so Iofficially kicked off my "50 Pitas in 50 States"tour, there.

Ilike to start projects more than Ilike to finish them.

Eight generations after we left Bismarck, we finally arrived in Bozeman. And it's just a beautiful town to spend a quiet weekend with the one you love most in the world. Nestled in between the mountains, with lots of cool, little shops in their cozy downtown.

Also, it rained the whole time, and Iforgot to bring a rain coat. So, Inow own a slightly used, Bozeman Hawks red, hooded sweatshirt, if anybody wants to barter with me.

We ultimately had to return home before all of you readers started to fret (you did notice Iwas gone for two weeks, right?). But we took the long way home, driving to Deadwood, S.D., so I could complete my "Robin Hood"premise at the casino-bar-restaurant Kevin Costner built there with his bare hands.

Note to poor honeymooners:The restaraunt on the third floor of Robin Hood's casino is really pricey. And they will not give you a $7 credit in exchange for the two hours of your life you wasted on "Swing Vote."

Everything Ido, including sneaking out of Kevin Costner's fancy casino-bar-restaurant while the waiter is getting us some water, Ido it for you, Annette.

(Columnist Kelly Hagen, now done writing about his wedding, can be reached at 250-8259 or kelly.hagen@bismarcktribune.com.)