Dec 11, 2008 - 04:06:06 CST
Generally, falling off a roof is bad luck. Chad Goldade thinks of it as just plain luck.Five years ago, when Goldade and his wife, Tori, were living in Fargo, he was working on rafters at a Bismarck construction site when the braces broke. Goldade fell and fractured his skull.
It was during the CT scan for the skull fracture that doctors discovered a brain tumor. It was cancerous. Goldade had no symptoms; it was only because of the fall that the tumor was discovered, he said.
At the time, Goldade had the tumor removed in a Fargo hospital and underwent a course of radiation treatments. The good news, his doctors told him, was that brain tumors don't typically spread to other organs and don't return.
This December, Goldade, now 37, would have hit the five-year mark, when the word "cure" can tentatively be breathed.
But in September, the vision in his left eye became weak and he began having headaches. Because of his history, Goldade's eye doctor recommended he have an MRI. After that, Goldade was sent to a neurosurgeon, who ordered a PET scan to see what was causing his symptoms.
The tumor, against the odds, had regrown.
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The Goldades now live in Mandan, where Tori Goldade was raised and graduated from Mandan High School in 1994. Chad Goldade's parents have both died, so Tori's family has become a network of support for the couple, who have three little boys, ages, 6, 3 and 6 months. Tori, who worked as a teacher when they lived in Fargo, is an at-home mom who does day care for a friend.
That network, along with the support of friends and fellow church members at Bismarck's First Evangelical Free Church, has been a blessing, the couple says.
After surgery in September to remove as much of the tumor as possible, Goldade has now started a year's worth of chemotherapy, during which he will alternate between five days of pills and three weeks off. At six months, he'll have another PET scan to see what effect that's had on the tumor's growth.
The first two days of the pills are tough, Chad said. He takes them in the evening and throws up at night for the first two days; the weakness remains for about a week. Just about the time he's feeling better, it's time for another set of pills.
Goldade said his boss, Mike Hopfauf, has been great. Since Goldade hasn't been able to work since September, he's anxious to get back, at least part time, to do the kinds of jobs his level of physical strength will allow.
He's lucky with his work, he said:"Ilove what I do."
The care from family, friends and church means Tori has had lots of help with meals, she said. Because her family is close by, she and Chad get help watching the boys, Keaton, 6, a first-grader at Mandan's Roosevelt Elementary; Eli, 3, and Samuel, 6 months.
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In the Goldades' immaculate living room in northwest Mandan, with the children's homemade ornaments hung on the lighted tree, Chad and Tori Goldade hold hands as they talk about this newest challenge.
Eli, 3, has an initial bout of shyness, but is willing to show visitors his black Junior Firefighter hat from the Mandan Fire Department. Eventually, he cuddles up next to his dad on the couch.
The kids understand as well as they can, Tori said. They have tried to give them just enough information to satisfy their curiosity and not so much as to traumatize them.
Eli understands that Daddy "has an owie in his head," Tori said. The boys pray for Daddy's head when they say their prayers, she said. They know Daddy has a lot of doctor appointments and that there are times when there's no wrestling with Daddy.
After Goldade's initial treatments five years ago, the couple believed everything was OK. So this recurrence was a shock, they said.
His prognosis is hard to predict, since this recurrence was not typical, he said.
Tori understands Chad's feelings as well as anyone can:She herself had two brain surgeries when she was younger, although her condition was not cancerous.
Goldade does have times when he feels like he can't go on, wants to give up.
That's when Tori tells him, "I understand. But you're doing it for me and the boys."
Goldade knows she's right. His emotions just brim to the surface as he says, "I keep fighting for my wife, my kids. I want to watch them grow up and get married,"he said.
His biggest challenges now are the headaches and the lack of physical endurance. What he yearns for is normalcy.
"Keeping things normal for the boys," that's the goal, Tori said. "It's a busy house."
Chad even got a deer this year. With a license to shoot from the window, it wasn't a big one, but he got one, nevertheless.
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Because they've both undergone brain surgery, sometimes they look at each other and wonder, "How did we find each other?" or "What was in the water?" They laugh.
Tori takes each day as it comes. Family and friends help out with whatever is needed at the time it's needed; she said: "God provided a way."
The Rev. Terry Kern, their pastor, sat with them the day of the surgery, she said.
"We feel really loved and blessed,"Tori said. "People have been so kind."
And North Dakotans are always willing to help, Goldade said. He's been out of state while in the service, and it's not that way everywhere, he said.
They get a lot of comfort from their faith, they said, from their relationship with God."It gives us strength,"Tori said.
Goldade considers a while about any wisdom he could share with others who are facing such as crisis.
"Have faith. Stick by God," he says.
(Reach reporter Karen Herzog at 250-8267 or karen.herzog@bismarcktribune.com.)
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