Nov 19, 2008 - 04:05:25 CST
More often than I care to admit, Sunday mornings find me fuming in our car, steaming mad at my family. In the process of getting ready for church, I usually blow my gasket at least once at an uncooperative child (or husband).We squeal down the street to worship, five minutes later than we should be leaving with very unholy thoughts about each other on our minds.
Scenes like this gave birth to the phrase, "Do as I say, not as I do."
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Perhaps it's the way my daughter can emulate with perfect pitch my most unpleasant voice as she scolds her brothers for this or that minor infraction. Or maybe it's the fact that my 5-year-old stood at the door last week putting on his coat and declared with utter frustration, "This d#%* zipper."
Fred Rogers said it best, "We speak with more than our mouths. We listen with more than our ears."
Parenting probably offers the most brutal lessons in this truism, but Mr. Rogers' wisdom applies to everyone, in all settings - the cheerful waiter serving coffee, the brusque doctor making rounds, the friendly teenager teaching little kids to skate.
Even perfect strangers on the street can communicate without talking, like the woman I see running around my neighborhood every morning. Some days I pass her as a fellow jogger. Most often, regrettably, I watch her through the windows of my car.
She's notable for several reasons. She's incredibly consistent. She's very fit - thin and muscular. And, she's probably pushing 70 years old.
She passed one day when I was talking to a friend. "That woman makes me feel guilty," my friend confessed. I've felt the same way a time or two when I've glimpsed her gliding by as I peered over the rim of my grande brew with extra cream.
But generally, her effect on me has been positive. The only word we've ever exchanged is "hello," and yet I've caught myself thinking about this dedicated jogger when I'm trying to justify going back to sleep instead of exercising.
I'm sure she has no idea the example she is setting for people she has never met just by getting up every morning to jog. I don't even know her name, yet she has prompted me out of bed at dawn to work out.
Every day our actions send powerful messages to people around us. They describe our values and priorities, what we believe and cherish. I scan my current "to-do" list: Hang Christmas lights. Pay bills. Respond to e-mail. Fix drawers. Write news release.
My actions are talking and some important people in my life are listening closely with their eyes. What are they hearing?
I ponder the list. The things I hold most dear are poorly represented, yet it's my list. I wrote it. What's missing? What should be first? What can come off?
I add a few new things to the top, scratch off the tasks that can wait, and end with some final thoughts: Get up earlier for church. Quit saying "d#%*."
(Julie Fedorchak is a Bismarck writer whose column appears on alternating Wednesdays. Reach her at jfedorchak@;bis.midco.net.)
big papa wrote on Nov 19, 2008 8:55 PM:
Comments are reviewed for taste, tone and language before posting.
Some comments may be used in the Tribune's print edition.