The Irby boys celebrate the great Tuna Fest

 
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Aug 03, 2008 - 04:06:11 CDT
There are some great festivals in these United States of America.

Take, for instance, the Lebowski Fest, a San Francisco celebration of all things Lebowski, including unlimited bowling, White Russians, Sarsaparillas, costumes and trivia. Lebowski Fest is named after the "The Big Lebowski," a 1998 Jeff Bridges cult movie that ranks with some of the worst of all time.

For the Irish, there is the Milwaukee Irish Fest, billed as the premier Irish experience of culture and heritage. Milwaukee, by the way, seems to be a fest-kind of town as it also has a German Fest, Polish Fest, Film Fest, Summer Fest and a Beer Festival.

And who wouldn't want to spend some money at some of the lesser known festivals such as the Stumptown Comics Fest (Oregon), Coffee Fest (Washington), Short Films Fest (California), Gecko Fest (Florida) and Fantastic Fest (Texas).

It seems every city in every state has some sort of fest or festival these days, including WE Fest in Detroit Lakes, Minn., and Bismarck's Harmony Fest, which concluded Saturday.

But no fest can surpass another one held recently in Bismarck - the eight-day Tuna Fest.

This inaugural event, not quite a gala, was attended by three people - my sons, Noah, 12, and Hank, 9, and me. It had humble beginnings about a month ago one evening while talking about what we would eat - what I could cook - when my wife, and the boys' mother, Lisa, would be in South Korea visiting our oldest son, Derren, 22.

"Dad, while Mom's gone, can we have Tuna Fest?" Noah asked.

The idea sounded good (I mean easy), but disgusted Lisa. It took her back to her childhood at Holy Name Catholic Grade School in Escanaba, Mich. It was there she worked in the kitchen day after day as a student aide. It was there she ate tuna, or had to wipe it from the plates of Jimmy and Janice and Alice and Alan, and any number of other tuna-smacking classmates.

The ever-so-faint smell of tuna today will make her gag. Even the word brings about pictures of the nasty canned fish that makes her shake and shudder.

Sometimes when I'm mad at her I simply stare into her dark brown eyes and yell "tuna, tuna tuna!" It's the great equalizer and the only way I can ever win an argument.

Yes, my wife is tuna challenged, and because of it our household of five males - and a boy dog begging for table scraps - has been deprived of one of man's best friends, and I don't mean the family dog.

Tuna rocks!

Thus, Tuna Fest was born, but not without one rule.

"All the smelly cans and leftovers must be out of the house by the time I return," Lisa demanded.

We agreed and Tuna Fest was launched Tuesday, July 22, the evening of the day Lisa started her Korean journey.

My leftover lunch Wednesday at my desk was nearly week-old refrigerated tuna on smashed wheat bread. It was a fitting and official end to Tuna Fest as Lisa came home later that day, but I just can't leave behind our experience.

"We have to have tuna every night," Hank said the day his mom left for Korea.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yep, we're sure," Noah said. "What kind of tuna is for dinner tonight?"

Now, I like tuna as much as the next guy, but eight days of tuna dishes? I wondered if tuna could be served that many different ways.

It can.

Here's how.

Tuesday: Tuna Mac (macaroni and cheese with tuna mixed in).

Wednesday: Scalloped Tuna with Potato Chip Topping (Internet recipe).

Thursday: Tuna-pickles-mayonnaise mix sandwiches with slices of cheese (side of fried potatoes).

Friday: Tuna Helper, Creamy Broccoli (grocery store box).

Saturday: Cheesy Tuna (generic brand grocery store box).

Sunday: Tuna Helper, Primavera (grocery store box).

Monday: Tuna Helper, Tetrazzini (grocery store box).

Tuesday: Tuna leftovers.

I love my boys - and tuna - but I think this was a bit much of a good thing.

The boys, however, were ecstatic at every meal and raved about how good the tuna tasted. They are counting the days until the second annual Tuna Fest when their mom leaves for another extended period of time.

I've promised a repeat, but have also made it perfectly clear that it will never include one suggestion at one meal.

"Dad, can we have chocolate tuna for dessert?"

(You can reach editor John Irby at 250-8266 or john.irby@bismarcktribune.com and go to www.bismarcktribune.com/blog/?w=thepaper&e_id=2671/ to read his blog.)
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The Irby boys celebrate the great Tuna Fest
Comments

Kismit wrote on Aug 4, 2008 6:51 PM:

" Enjoyed your commentary on "Tuna Fest". But, Tuna Helper????? Pleeease!!! I can give you a couple of really good tuna casserole recipies if you want!

Kismit "

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