May 23, 2008 - 04:06:16 CDT
There's an old quote that tells me, "All things old become new again." Also, LL Cool J tells us, "Don't call it a comeback." Finally, Han Solo once said, "I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid." That's the wrong Harrison Ford-played character, but that's how Ibest sum up the comeback of Indiana Jones.Oops. Ipromised I wouldn't call anything a comeback. Sorry, LL.
Nobody likes a new idea. Not the ideamakers, because developing a new idea into a fully sculpted premise takes a lot of time and really hurts the idea-forming part of the brain. More importantly, audiences don't like new ideas, because meeting new people is uncomfortable.
I can tolerate an old idea made new again, though, if that idea is Indiana Jones, and the new movie, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." I feel a kinship with the character, because I, too, love history and fedora hats, and Ihate snakes.
Some might say that Indiana Jones is a bit too old of a character to be made new. I am not one of these "some," nor have Imet any of these terrible "few." Ipicture these "people" to have sharp teeth, extended jaws, forked tongues and really rough skin. Scary, awful creatures, I'll bet.
These guffawers began their guffawing when Sylvester Stallone brought both his iconic characters, Rocky and Rambo, back to life recently, pointing out that the man was too old to fight, whether in a boxing ring or against the entire military force of Burma.
Again, Iask you to picture these jokes and snickering being done by loathsome, mutant people. Certainly not me. I respect my elders.
Indiana Jones isn't a boxer or an advanced killing machine. He's an archaeologist. You can hold that job well into retirement age, no questions asked.
Sure, he's more of a serialized version of a scientist, stealing sacred stones away from witch doctors who pull beating hearts straight out of victims' rib cages, so that probably requires an above-average athletic aptitude. But, seriously, even when Indy was in his younger years, he usually got the stuffing kicked out of him by just about every opponent he takes on. It's why he's so endearing.
What keeps Indiana Jones ticking longer than the thousands of individual henchmen who attack him, single-file, in every movie is a quality that wouldn't falter too much with age: the ability to think his way out of a bad situation.
He knows when best to clothesline a minion running full-tilt right at him, when to dodge a plane's propeller while fistfighting a giant henchman, and when to just reach for his revolver and shoot a sword-wielding maniac.
So, yes, I don't expect Jones' biceps or bare chest all over the movie posters, this time around. But as long as he's got a knapsack, a bullwhip, comfortable hiking shoes, the ability to withstand repeated punches to the face and midsection, and that kid from "Transformers"to prop him up, age ain't nothing but a number for Indiana Jones.
(Columnist Kelly Hagen is jonesing for the new "Indiana Jones." Contact him at 250-8259 or kelly.hagen@bismarcktribune.com.)
incomplete wrote on May 28, 2008 8:12 AM:
Harold Reimann wrote on May 23, 2008 6:00 PM:
Nate wrote on May 23, 2008 12:03 PM:
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