Apr 04, 2008 - 04:05:01 CDT
Maybe you've all known me to crack a joke or two about strange situations causing me to break into bawling hysterics, but for the most part, Iswear they're all just jokes. Icouldn't possibly tear up that much. I'd be dehydrated all the time.Conversely, my comedically corrupt mind could not have conceived a situation such as this past Monday, as Isat crying considerably on my couch, while watching professional wrestling.
Men in white coats, I've waited so long for you.
A great number of Americans treat pro wrestling with disdain because it presents itself as if it were a real sporting event, but we all know that the matches are staged, and no one likes being lied to. Especially not by men with surnames of "the Samoan Bulldozer."
The men and women in the ring are just doing what writers tell them to. But you really can't fake falling through tables or crashing onto the mat from the top rope. Their actions are probably more real than those of actors.
Ilike to call it theater, as written by Larry the Cable Guy.
One of the unexpected results of this sort-of reality is that the human beings behind these characters will sometimes shine through, delivering legitimately emotional moments.
Had you not heard (and, being more respectable than the likes of me, I'm sure you hadn't), Wrestlemania was Sunday, and longtime wrestler Ric Flair lost a match that had the stipulation that he must retire if he didn't win. The whole weekend had been stocked with Flair tributes, including his inductment into the WWE Hall of Fame, and being the perceptive detective Iam, Isort of had a hunch that he just might lose that match.
Flair is, among wrestling fans, a legend. While Hulk Hogan was the household name of pro wrestling in the '80s, Flair was the world champion in the National Wrestling Alliance and World Championship Wrestling. He was over-the-top outside of the ring and in interviews, and a dedicated athlete and showman in the ring. He was and will remain the greatest to ever walk that aisle.
So, on Monday's "Raw," Flair came out to give his farewell address to the audience. After he had thanked the audience for supporting him throughout his 36-year career, the company surprised him by bringing current and former wrestlers to the ring, along with his family, and the entire roster surrounded the ring, applauding him. Along with that, the audience stood in unison, chanting, "Thank you, Flair,"while Flair broke down in tears.
It was not at the level of a "Lou Gehrig Appreciation Day," but it was still as touching as any retirement ceremony I'd ever seen. It was a man at the twilight of his career, sad that this time in his life was over but grateful for the time he had. It's a milestone we all come to eventually, so we can reflect on how we will react when we, too, get there.
That feeling was, to me, as real as it gets. Thank you, Ric Flair.
(Reach columnist Kelly "The Willow Wisp" Hagen at 250-8259 or kelly.hagen.) @bismarcktribune.com
Erik wrote on Apr 4, 2008 2:21 PM:
Ric Flair has rocked for a long, long time.
Now it's time for him to pass the torch.
He has wrestled wildebeests and angels.
He has soared on the wings of a demon.
It's time to pass the torch.
You're too old to rock! No more rocking for you!
We're taking you to a home!
But we will sing a song about you.
And we will make sure that you're very well taken care of.
You'll tell us secrets that you've learned. Raow!
Your sauce will mix with ours.
And we'll make a good goulash, baby.
Ric Flair! Time to go!
You must give your cape and scepter TO ME!
(and a smaller one for Kelly.)
Go go! Ric Flair! Go! "
Nate wrote on Apr 4, 2008 11:29 AM:
By the way, wrestling cannot be "Theater, as written by Larry the Cable Guy." Larry the Cable Guy can't read or write. It has been, however, theater as written by former member of Husker Du, Bob Mould. Strange, but true. "
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