Mar 23, 2008 - 04:05:05 CDT
Never doubt the power of one life.And how that power can reverberate into the world even through the unlikely door of suffering and death.
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This Easter, it will be nearly a year since Becky Wald received her diagnosis of terminal cancer.
In the seven months between Easter and Thanksgiving, the Maddock mother of seven underwent chemotherapy, lost her father at age 93, welcomed her first grandchild and celebrated her 33rd wedding anniversary. Through it all, Wald kept writing about her journey of suffering and faith on CaringBridge, a Web site through which patients and their families can post information.
Becky Wald's journal shared more than information about tests and pain and chemo:It became a profound testament to the power of faith to create good from the harshest of materials:Cancer.
Twenty-four hours after Becky Wald died on Nov. 29, 2007, her entries had received more than 46,000 hits, said her daughter, Mary Wald.
Becky Wald wanted nothing so much as to be a mother, said her husband, Gary.
The Wald home on the outskirts of Maddock, where Gary Wald teaches ag education at Maddock High School, is filled with plants:Becky loved growing things, Gary Wald said.
The walls are filled with family photos of the couple's seven children, of Becky and Gary's first grandchild, Jaden, and devotional images of Becky's strong Catholic faith. On the kitchen wall hangs a tender pencil drawing of Jesus holding a lamb. It was an anonymous gift to Becky, sent by one of the thousands of people moved by her story.
It was one of Becky's favorite things, Gary Wald said. It reminded Becky both of the gentleness of her own father and of Jesus as the Good Shepherd, he said.
The Wald children are Jeremy, 31; Andrea, 29; Molly, 28; John, 25; Mary, 23; Jeffrey, 21; and Megan, 14.
Becky had found it in her heart to homeschool her three younger children, Gary Wald said, not because she had problems with public schools, but because she was totally devoted to her family.
The others were out into the world when her mother got sick with severe stomach pains last spring. But Megan, the youngest, is still an eighth-grader.
With the trauma of losing her mother in November, the family wanted Megan to not have to start public school in the middle of the year, Gary Wald said.
So Jeffrey, a junior at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minn., made the decision to take off this spring semester to come back to Maddock to help Megan finish out her eighth-grade year of homeschooling.
Megan's sister, Mary, also is at home helping out before starting school in the fall, likely at close-by Lake Region State College in Devils Lake.
It's been a year now, Gary Wald said, since that Easter Sunday, April 8, when Becky's pain, from what she thought might be a bad case of the flu, became severe enough that she decided to go to the hospital.
When the family went to the emergency room in Fargo, however, the doctor was immediately alarmed. Testing soon showed colon cancer that had spread to her liver. Incurable, the doctor told her, with tears in his eyes.
Becky Wald was 55. So young and as vibrant as the red that was her favorite color, Gary Wald said.
He cried. "Why you?" he asked.
His wife's reply was, "Why not me?"
From the very start, Becky felt God was calling her to a purpose with this suffering, he said. She was planning on beating the cancer, planning on a miracle.
By the time she died, having reached her 56th birthday on Oct. 25, she had beaten it, Gary Wald said - "It never took away her faith."
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Word spread quickly about Becky's writing on CaringBridge, Gary Wald said.
"She knew God was telling her her cancer was for a reason,"he said.
Through her sufferings, her pain, her treatment, She made a commitment to offer up her suffering to God for her family, her friends and anyone in need, he said.
The theology is called "redemptive suffering," Jeffrey Wald said. She committed her pain as others would prayer, for family and friends, "offered it up to anyone who needed prayer," he said.
Becky's faith not only helped sustain her family, Gary Wald said, but encompassed everyone from the nurses for whom Becky always had a smile and positive word, to the Maddock community, Catholic and Protestant alike, who followed her journal entries, waited for them every day, to those who, in Becky's last two weeks, came to the Wald home to pray with her, Jeffrey Wald said.
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By August, the end of chemotherapy had reduced Becky's cancer by 75 percent. Though doctors told her it had reached the end of its effectiveness, she opted for two more rounds in hopes of eliminating it. But by November, doctors told her family that she probably had two weeks to live. Thirteen days later, she died.
That Thanksgiving, all her children were able to be home and 25 people came out to pray with her, Jeffrey Wald said. Not all were Catholic, but all prayed. Hospice came. At the very end, Becky opened her eyes and tried to speak, words that Mary believes were intended to be, "I love you all."
The community that had followed her story came together to support her family afterward as well, Mary Wald said. Women from all the churches brought food to her funeral, just as two of her friends had brought the family dinner every Friday, she said.
Even now, months later, her mother's reassuring presence still finds her; at anxious moments, her mother's words come back to her and she is warmed with an inexplicable peace.
As the anniversary of Becky's diagnosis comes around, it is difficult, Gary Wald said. A grace that has been given to him is that all that they wanted to say to each other, all the forgiving that needed to be given and received - they had time for.
Becky told him during her illness that they had talked more in those months than in 25 years, he said.
They believe that she is still loving them, but in a different place - "Becky is right there to intercede for us,"he said.
The family had no idea that Becky would be so well-known, that so many would be comforted and moved and touched by her words and her faith, Mary Wald said.
But to her kids, she was "just mom," Mary Wald said, the kind of mom who would bake chocolate chip cookies at 11 p.m. if her child needed some sweet comfort.
"We are truly humbled by the depth to which Mom's story has reached,"Mary Wald said.
"Though many may view her as a remarkable lady because of the strength, courage, love and faith by which she conquered her cancer battle, to us, she is just 'Mom': A wonderful, beautiful person who always put her children before her own needs. It is because of Mom that I know what it means to truly love unconditionally."
(Reach reporter Karen Herzog at 250-8267 or karen.herzog@bismarcktribune.com.)
Exerpts from Becky Wald's online journals
“This has been an amazing spiritual journey for me. It is a mystery, but I really experience more joy and freedom of soul now that my body is laden with cancer, than I ever did when my body was cancer free. I just long to do God’s will and to share His magnificent love.
(Of the community benefit held for her, Becky writes) “Those of you who thought I was radiant observed two things: First, the joy of God’s love has never been more real to me than now. It is His grace poured out on me, that enables me to be who I have been now.
“Yesterday ... I have never had pain that excruciating before ... it was the most prayerful day of my life, because I offer all the pain and suffering to God in union with Christ’s suffering for the salvation of souls. In doing so, none of my suffering is wasted, but in God’s kingdom it accomplishes more than I could ever imagine. I can endure it a little easier knowing that it is not just pain for pain’s sake. It is a prayer for others.”
(Becky Wald’s full journal entries are at www.caringbridge.org/visit/beckywald.)
June Huntzinger wrote on Apr 1, 2008 8:54 PM:
I didn't know you as well as I knew Don and Enid but I heard alot about you from them. I know that everyone who came into your path was Blessed for knowing all of you. I know Becky is watching each and everyone of you and she has to be beaming with what she sees from all of you. I know you will carry on Becky's image the best you can. Her Faith and her Heavenly Father helped her and will help you too. Your Faith will carry you thru life stay strong in your Faith.
God's Blessing for all of you,
June Huntzinger "
SNAP! wrote on Mar 23, 2008 11:07 PM:
Meredith wrote on Mar 23, 2008 9:27 PM:
Rg wrote on Mar 23, 2008 9:14 PM:
So please readers, no more comments regarding Snap. It's a waste of time, just like their posts!
Thank you. "
Southpark wrote on Mar 23, 2008 6:16 PM:
dave wrote on Mar 23, 2008 4:12 PM:
SNAP! wrote on Mar 23, 2008 2:46 PM:
First, I am sorry these people have lost a wife and mother. The death of someone you love is always difficult and the pain can last for years.
However, my complaint is that the Tribune runs far too many Christian-based articles, which further promotes the "normalcy" and "righteousness" of Christianity in the minds of the readers. Call it local culture brainwashing if you'd like.
Further, just the other day I read a posting from a reader who went off on a rant about the problem with Third World countries is that they breed too many offspring and refuse to use birth control. But, I bet that poster will find no problem with these nice white folks having seven children. Why not? Because they can afford them? Does that make it okay?
So, although some may think these issues have nothing to do with this article, I think they do. "
SNAP! wrote on Mar 23, 2008 2:03 PM:
Of course I have noticed that for 2 days now, none of my posts have appeared anywhere. Hoverver, I am adhering to the rules of:
"comments will not be posted that contain potential libel and slander, personal insults and name calling or profanity. Posts must be issue orientated and civil.
So, you are judging me according to your own moral beliefs, and that's just unfair. I have read some pretty nutty posts from some pretty nutty people on these blogs, comments far worse than mine. "
Natasha Petry wrote on Mar 23, 2008 11:48 AM:
dave wrote on Mar 23, 2008 10:58 AM:
I have known the Wald family most of my life since I grew up in Maddock and was a student of Gary's. They are truly a wonderful family and Becky was an amazing woman. "
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