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Mother turns in 11-year-old

 
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May 30, 2007 - 04:05:19 CDT
An 11-year-old girl has been accused of stealing a laptop from an elementary school after her mother found the computer in the girl's bedroom.

Bismarck Police Sgt. Mark Buschena said a 32-year-old Bismarck woman called police on Friday to report finding a stolen computer in her daughter's bedroom. The woman told police her daughter had stolen two computers from Miller Elementary School, 1989 N. 20th St., but had returned one of them, Buschena said.

The stolen computer was an iBook, valued at $1,200, Buschena said.

He said the girl received juvenile citations for theft and unruly juvenile and was released to her mother.

The case will be handled in juvenile court, where records are closed to the public.

Buschena said some parents are willing to turn their children in for suspected crimes when they are worried about their well-being, while others refuse to allow their children to talk to police when they are accused of crimes.

"There's some cases where they're generally concerned about how their kids will turn out,"he said.

- Jenny Michael
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Mother turns in 11-year-old
Comments

Did The Right Thing wrote on Jun 15, 2007 9:35 AM:

" This mother did the right thing. Obviously the daughter requires some additional learning opportunities. If more parents reached out for help like this, we would have fewer people with problems. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 13, 2007 1:10 PM:

" To Mom of 3, couldn't have said it better myself. WELL SAID!!!!! "

Mom of 3 wrote on Jun 13, 2007 9:25 AM:

" To just another person: There are too many things to point out in Your All Nuts comments that are wrong grammar or spelling, but she doesn't care and since she is a perfect mother, it doesn't matter. (Not so much in her words, but close.) She is only interested in slamming the rest of us for our parenting, or as she thinks, lack thereof. She lives in her own little perfect world and can't be bothered with others. "

Online Editor wrote on Jun 13, 2007 8:40 AM:

" To Mike R: I see the logic in your post. Hopefully someone more tech savvy than me is reading this and can explain why the slanted letters and squiggly lines are needed. "

Mike R wrote on Jun 13, 2007 6:26 AM:

" To "to mike r": I am not so sure that we throw the book at them once they turn 18 either anymore. More and more we are becoming a society of victims. Nothing is our fault. It is our childhood, it is the violence on tv, it is the chemicals in the water, etc. No one takes responsibility for the raising of thier kids and no one takes responsibility for thier own actions. Everything is someone's fault. We just go around and do what-ever feels good. Why should we contain ourselves? That is what kids are being taught these days and more and more that is how the adults are behaving. Some people might argue that this "new age" model of behavior is working to build self esteem and individualization, but I doubt it. Just look back 20 years or so and compare that to what we have in society now. Is the world a better place now than it was 20 years ago? If the answer is NO then maybe our "new age" thinking isn't working. "

just another person wrote on Jun 13, 2007 2:01 AM:

" oh and excuse my spelling grammer should be grammar "

just another person wrote on Jun 13, 2007 1:59 AM:

" so i've been reading the comments left on this article and have to laugh myself stupid due to the fact that your all nuts doesn't know proper grammer and usage of words and well i've also picked out alot of spelling errors as well.....i mean since everyone is attacking their usage of words, grammer and everything else. let me start 1. your all nuts should be you're or you are all nuts and 2. the correct spelling hoping and not hopeing would anyone else like me to point out more bad grammer and spelling? my point proven. "

Mike R wrote on Jun 12, 2007 11:22 PM:

" Online editor: I do know how to tell the difference between all the letters and numbers. I was just stating that it can be a little difficult depending how the other lines cross them, that's all. My question with the image verification is this. If manually typing in the numbers reduces spam because automated spam doesn't type in those random numbers, why would it make a difference if the numbers were clear or covered with other lines? They still would have to be entered manually and a spam program isn't going to do it no matter how clear the letters are - right? And someone manually entering the letters is just as capable of reading the squiggly letters as anyone else - right? So what purpose is being served by harder to read letters? There must be some reason because all image verification letters are that way, but why? "

Online Editor wrote on Jun 12, 2007 10:12 PM:

" To Mike R: You're right, they are all a pain in the neck. I emailed the corporate person that was working on an alternative to this software, hopefully I will get some positive news this week. In the mean time, here are a couple of tips that may make decoding the image verifier easier: there are no capital letters, only lower case. The one has a downward angle on the top line. I don't have any advice on the g and the q except be patient. "

MIke R wrote on Jun 12, 2007 9:58 PM:

" I have also noticed that you have to submit each comment several times to get it to work - especially if there is a number 1 in the image. Usually it is easy to read, but the number 1 and letter l are close. The letter o and number 0. The letter g and the letter q. All tough to distinguish over all the squiggly lines. "

To Mike R wrote on Jun 12, 2007 9:14 PM:

" That is the procedure in this country. Let kids get away with almost anything then when they turn 18 throw the book at them. How else can you get a million men in prison in this country. It is almost as silly as outlawing all forms of physical punishment until it rates the death penalty. I have heard college professors that talk about how street drugs should be legalized. College professors who claim our country is somehow evil. Hollywood glorifies sex and violence. Politicians who want to open our borders to cheap labor. When kids grow up they have been overwhelmed with images of selfishness, promiscuity, conspiracy, blood and gore. Then we wonder why they cannot stay married (much worse in the really big cities on each coast). Pompey was a small honorable city compared to many of ours. Unfortunately if the politicians were to kick the lobbyists out of their offices and dinner tables they could never afford to be re-elected. A friend in California was raising a delinquent grandson who once came home from school and announced "my teacher says if you lay a hand on me I am supposed to call 911". It would seem the children are being protected from the wrong people. At least the schools should teach them how to balance a checkbook and calculate the hidden interest in credit cards. "

Online Editor wrote on Jun 12, 2007 8:47 AM:

" To Another to online manager: Thanks for the input. "

Another to online manager wrote on Jun 12, 2007 6:36 AM:

" I don't generally have a problem reading the image verification, but sometimes have to enter it 3 different times (of course different images) before my comment will go through and I know that I have entered it correctly the 1st time, along with the other subsequent times. That is also ridiculous. "

Online Editor wrote on Jun 11, 2007 11:02 PM:

" To MikeR: I certainly can't stick up for the software we are forced to use. Along with the shortcomings you see on the user end, there are a number on the administrative end too. A few weeks ago there was talk about new commenting software being tested at another Lee paper. Your comment is a good reminder to me to email the person in charge of the software and find out the verdict. Sorry about the troubles, but I must admit, the word count part did make me laugh. Maybe you can find comfort in the fact that I have to enter my editor comments the same way you do, so I have to deal with the crappy image verifier too. "

Mike R wrote on Jun 11, 2007 10:51 PM:

" Online editor: I hate your software. It sucks. I wrote a comment and got the message that I had 359 words instead of 350. I deleted about 25 words, and then got a message that I had 352 words. I deleted about 10 more words, then got a messge that I had 351 words. I deleted 3 or 4 more words and got a message that I still had 351 words. I deleted 5 or 6 more words and got a message that I still had 351 words. I deleted about 10 more words and then it finally went through. What is considered a word by your software - about 78 letters or what? Very frustrating. Also, your image verification is garbage. I understand the purpose of it, but why does it have to be impossible to read? How does making the letters hard to read control spam? It doesn't, so why have it? "

Mike R wrote on Jun 11, 2007 10:47 PM:

" Several comments on this page are proof as to why we have the unruly kids we have today. Somewhere along the line, good parenting went out the window. In its place, we have parents who don't care, are to involved with thier own lives to help thier kids and parents who cover up for thier kids. A few months ago, I was at a monster truck show in Fargo. A bus load of boy scouts pulled up along with 4 or 5 adults. It was an hour before the show, and I was sitting on the floor with my 2 kids. Several of the boy scouts were running around, bumping into people, yelling, and they came close to stepping on my daughter a few times. I approached one of the adults and asked if they would mind taking charge of the kids before I was forced to do it myself, my own way. She seem very irritated that I dare interrupt her chat session with the other adults and walked away in a huff. No wonder the kids were acting the way they were. They knew they had no supervision what-so-ever. I have seen the exact same thing in airports, malls, church, etc. Adults let thier kids run and do what-ever they want and they no one takes responsibility for their behavior. Then when they get into trouble, these same parents lie and cover up for the kids. Gee, is it any wonder all of the jails in this country are full? Kids are growing up without any idea how to conform to society. They were always allowed to run amok and do what-ever they want and when they hit adulthood, reality comes crashing down on them. When I was a kid, I had a healthy fear of some serious punishment if I ever got caught stealing or behaving like a monkey in general. Hey gues what? It worked. I stayed out of trouble. "

Mom of 3 wrote on Jun 11, 2007 8:50 PM:

" To "To Proud": Thank you for the personal insight into this problem and congratulations on your turning out right. See, Your All Nuts, it does work out. This young man sounds like he learned from his mistake and from his mother turning him in. "

To: "Proud" wrote on Jun 11, 2007 6:24 AM:

" In response to "Proud". I'm a 22 year old male. I grew up in Bismarck. When I was 15 yrs old my mother found a can of beer in my room, one can. She called the police and when I got home from my friends house the police officer was waiting for me in the dining room. I was scared, but I also had a pretty good idea why he was there. He issued me a citation and talked to me in a calm manner and referred me to the Police Youth Bureau. I was mad at the time but now that I think back on it, I see how much my momther cares. If she didn't care who knows where I would be now! I learned a lesson though. "

Get Real wrote on Jun 9, 2007 11:40 AM:

" To "NUTS": Well, you must be a model parent because you have nothing but ridicule to say to anyone who does not agree with you. Teachers have more than one child to deal with in a school day. I have worked in the classroom for 15 years and nobody can be everywhere all the time. An 11 year old should be able to be trusted. We do not know all the circumstances of the first theft. As for you calling people reading these posts "slow", if you were aware of proper English, punctuation, use of capital lettering, and spelling, it would be a lot easier to read and comprehend your posts... "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 8, 2007 5:52 PM:

" RE- READ!!!!! "

? for your all nuts wrote on Jun 8, 2007 4:55 PM:

" How were you raised? Were you raised with the same mentality as to how you are raising your children? The reason I ask is because you say that you have had some run-in's, which I am assuming meant with the law. Does that prove that that kind of child rearing it not fool proof!!! I would just like you to know that I was not brought up in the sense that you are talking about, brought up very strict but also knew that if my parents didn't take care of me in the discipline category a higher powers would and I have never had a run in with the law, not been arrested, MIP, DUI, etc so I would say that the way most of the people are blogging on her are actually not laziness, it seemed to work pretty well for the most part. I am not the only shining example either. "

mik wrote on Jun 8, 2007 3:35 PM:

" my parents told me something while I was growing up that kept me on the straight-and-narrow: They told me never to call them if I needed to be bailed out of jail. And guess what? It worked. Kudos to mom for doing the right thing. 11-year olds today definitely know right from wrong. "

Agree with "to your all nuts" wrote on Jun 8, 2007 1:54 PM:

" I completely agree with the statement that you made about "your all nuts" being a bully. That is the exactly what she is and it looks as if that is how her children will be as they grow older too. This is exactly the reason I raise my kids how I do to hopefully to not turn out like that. Do you realize that covering up your child's illegal actions could also hold YOU accountable WITH THE LAW? That is what some bloggers, mom of 2, also a parent and to your all nuts are trying to explain to you. When you are in the slammer because you were an accomplice to your child's actions don't cry to anyone but yourself about your crisis. Noone is saying that everything needs to have law enforcement intervention but sometimes it may be needed. You want everyone to see things your way but refuse to see other peoples ideas and opinions on raising children. BULLY!! Apparently alot of us "ignorant or less intelligent" parents aren't doing such a bad job if our children have never had a run in with the law. "

To Your All Nuts wrote on Jun 8, 2007 11:48 AM:

" I knew I didn't hurt your feelings, or even if I did, you wouldn't admit it. I can't say you are smarter than me though if you flip burgers for a living. (But, then we don't really know you do that. You just say you do. You could be a CEO of a company - although I doubt that highly too). You have your idea of how to parent, some of the rest of us have our ideas. I do hold my children responsible for things they do, although they have never done anything illegal. I am extremely involved in my childrens lives too. Perhaps you should look back at some of your comments and see some of the things you stated regarding kids. I am sure you won't do it though. However, they are not anything to be proud of. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 8, 2007 11:20 AM:

" Trust me when I say You did not hurt my feelings. hahahaha I just simply stated Cheap Shot-----Bully I am not- smarter than alot of you, maybe! Oh but in order to agree with all of you, I have to believe some children are BEYOND HELP! I have to believe that children only do things to be evil sometimes. I have to believe that some PARENTS really need help with some of their unruly children. I have to believe that children are unruly for no other reason but for the fun of it and to make the parents life hell. See I believe children do things for a reason- good or bad. But hey lets just ignore that and call the cops- So the judge can help you control your child! See I believe in PARENTS HOLDING THEIR "CHILD" RESPONSIBLE - NO ONE ELSE/Government, priest, neighbors, grandparents. Some how that has turned into me covering up, beating and whatever else. So you all look for help to raise your child- And then blame society for making hard for you!!!! "

Disappointed wrote on Jun 8, 2007 11:04 AM:

" I as a parent would have confronted my child and asked why they were stealing. Then I would discuss with them what they think was the right thing to do. Kids have to be part of the decsion making. If they aren't how are they gonna learn problem solving skills. What the child doesn't understand is that anyway you look at it, it costs your family money. Things go missing from the school then taxes go up to replace the missing stuff. Teachers and cops aren't babysitter. Parents need to be more involved. In todays society we work more then we spend time with our children and they act out only to get our attention whether good or bad. Its a cry for help, love, and attention. How are we gonna save are children??? "

To Your All Nuts wrote on Jun 8, 2007 10:59 AM:

" Oops! Did I hurt your feelings now? Maybe now you know how it feels for you to lamblast everyone else on this subject that does not agree with your opinion. You are a bully. "

Daddy wrote on Jun 8, 2007 10:54 AM:

" How do any of you have time to parent if you are constantly on this blog. "

You must be nuts wrote on Jun 8, 2007 10:39 AM:

" Go keep flipping burgers, you have got to better at that!! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 8, 2007 10:12 AM:

" Cheap Shot! Take Responsibilty for your own writing! "

To Your All Nuts wrote on Jun 8, 2007 9:09 AM:

" Oops! I have been reading the blogs from Your All Nuts too long, now I am talking like her. Anyway, the last part of my comment should have said guess I can't say I have BEEN lucky, just an awesome parent. "

To Teacher wrote on Jun 8, 2007 12:48 AM:

" Your right but I am not going to let you get away with it. You began by giving her to many alibis. You made it all way too logical. Maybe she just wanted it real bad and so she took it. Now she knows why so few prisons have women in them. We forgive women and really forgive girls. No doubt her mother has already taught her (by example) how to call a lawyer and dump a husband. Now her mother is teaching her that she can use the system against her also. But being a chronic victim ends up rather lonely as everyone around her gets burned. Her mother should have taken her to the school with the computer and expressed real embarrassment and shame. Her daughter is a part of her and together they were involved in a mistake that needs to be made right. Then save the police for the parents who only get unhappy when the kid gets caught. That probably includes the “all nuts” lady. "

To Your All Nuts wrote on Jun 7, 2007 6:48 PM:

" According to you, luck has nothing to do with having good kids. It is discipline and stopping them with MINOR infractions before they get to the MAJOR ones, so guess I can't say I have lucky, just an awesome parent. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 6:32 PM:

" Just like your LUCKY you ended up with a good kid vs. a beyond hope child. Luck is everywhere. Well God must have been shining on me cuz I have good kids hallulah----I will pray for you all. "

To Your Are All Nuts wrote on Jun 7, 2007 5:48 PM:

" I know for sure you are not my neighbor, so I count myself lucky. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 4:48 PM:

" Harsh-- I am crying! Guess you will never know- as I could be your neighbor....... I love Bismarck! "

To To your all Nuts wrote on Jun 7, 2007 4:02 PM:

" And if you ask me neither one look to be a "good" part of town!! "

To BH wrote on Jun 7, 2007 3:58 PM:

" You can probably count just about everybody on this comment section as being with you about the punishment, except for Your All Nuts, who is a perfect parent and can't be troubled with the rest of us low life parents. Of course, she wants to gas any child that might get in trouble because she doesn't want to deal with them when they are older. "

To Your All Nuts wrote on Jun 7, 2007 3:26 PM:

" Actually, your attitude speaks of one part of town, but your grammar speaks of another. "

BH wrote on Jun 7, 2007 2:42 PM:

" Wow, I am surprised to see the comments on here. It seems like most people have nothing better to do with their lives other than argue on The Bismarck Tribune's blog. *SMH* Anyways, I believe before people start judging others parenting skills, take a look at your own. Instead of criticizing this mother for doing what she thought was a proper punishment, look at how you raise your own children. Parents are to discipline their own children as they will. It's their child, I mean, she could have gone beserk and beat her child, like in other cases, but I think she approached this in an appropriate manner; she wanted her child to take responsibility, and show them how to deal with this. I think it would have been worse if she hadn't done this. It would just go to show the child that they are at the advantage of doing it again without punishment. Now the child knows that this is the consequence and this is reality. I say kudos to the mother, maybe more parents should discipline their children who perform like this, and take this as an example, I bet there would be a lot less juvenile delinquints. "

Your all Nuts!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 2:19 PM:

" I'de love to know what part of town I live in with my attitude. I might suprise you! "

Teacher wrote on Jun 7, 2007 1:42 PM:

" I am one of the few on this comment section that believe the mother should not have turned in her 11 year old child for stealing the laptop. I feel that the mother should have allowed the learning experience that her child was trying to discover about a criminal act to come to a full conclusion. Instead of turning in her daughter she should have found out what the motivation was for her to turn to the crime of theft in the first place. Did she need money and was she planning on selling it on E-Bay? Did she steal it for a friend? Were there files on the computer something she wanted to have for some reason? Or did she just do it for the thrills that may be associated with committing a crime? Once the motivation was determined the mother’s next step should have been in helping her daughter meet that intended goal. In the end this little girl would have either learned that crime does in fact pay off or she would have learned that crime normally is followed up with punishment and consequences. Either way her child would have learned something important. And isn’t the learning process what we want for our children? That’s why we send our children to school in the first place after all. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 7, 2007 1:26 PM:

" To Also a parent, don't bother with the explanation because everyone in surrounding areas should be burned at the stake on how they raise their children because NOONE is doing a proper job!! Heaven forbid you would have used the words "beyond help" in our last post like I did because that means that any child that walks the face of the earth is worthless, helpless and is a lost cause oh and let's not forget should be gased!!! I am telling you "Also a parent" you are going to get absolutely NOWHERE no matter what you explain, you are wrong and Nuts is right!!! End of Story!!! "

To Your All Nuts wrote on Jun 7, 2007 1:20 PM:

" So, now this mother let her child steal the computers. Hmm........ I want to be a perfect mother just like you. Can you teach me how? I have a feeling I know what part of town you live in just by your attitude. Quit your job. Well, that might be an option, unless you are the only one working in your household (I don't know if this was a single mom or not, but it doesn't matter, because it could have happened to a 2-parent household). However, if she was the only one working, what is she supposed to do then, go on welfare? Then you would bellyache because she wasn't out working and making a living because she was definitely capable of this. Besides the fact, it does not say anywhere in the article that she worked outside of the home. The status factor does not make a difference, whether she be single, married, divorced, separated or black, white, red, silver, or green. The fact is, this child stole from someone and needed to have some type of discipline. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 12:55 PM:

" Are you sure you are capable of flipping burgers for us? Pretty sure- between itching my butt and hopeing my running nose stays on my face! "

attention!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 12:52 PM:

" Her kid her decision!!! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 12:06 PM:

" At what point do you involve the police? With a child NEVER! I feel the parents should be halled in for what they let the child do! SAME GOES FOR ME---Maybe then we might see some more active parents---MEANING IF YOU CHILD IS NOT MAKING WISE DECISIONS- DO NOT LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS! Plain and simple--If you have to quit your job so you can stay home with your naughty child then that is what you are going to have to do....or make arrangements---Oh wait but per you guys this should be done by the police, because they have more influence over your children! OR god forbid you dont keep up with the Jones then- who would sacrifice that for a child well being. Lets just label them as what is it: beyond help- "

To Your All Nuts wrote on Jun 7, 2007 11:56 AM:

" Are you sure you are capable of flipping burgers for us? "

Also A Parent wrote on Jun 7, 2007 11:49 AM:

" I treated both my children equally, weather it was in attension or in displining them. I beleived in my child and then I found out he lied, and after being displine we were alway assured it would never happen again and it did, and again you trust and beleive your child, etccc... You read more into a situation then needs to be. My point is you can do your best as a parent and not every child is the same, each one is different. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 11:46 AM:

" Okay as far as the Parents would be aiding and abetting: Are you in grade school? It would only be aiding and abetting IF I CHOSE TO IGNORE IT AND LET THEM KEEP THE COMPUTER KNOWING IT WAS STOLEN. Which has NEVER been my stance. Grow up or at least THINK!!!!!! What have I stated I would do???? Guess what my english is bad if you havent noticed....Maybe I struggled in school with dislexia------GET A LIFE once again thank god I am flipping burgers for ya all instead of teaching your children english! I can make fun of myself too.......... "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 11:36 AM:

" before she destroys herself------SHE IS 11. Listen to how you talk of a child? Do you think any 11 yr old choses to destroy herself? Also a parent: Did you favor one over the other, what were you doing believing a child that has lied to you (sounds like you made the fool out of yourself)- Did you compare the two.. I could probably bring up alot of things that were done incorrectly- I am not calling you a bad mom- I will call you a bad mom if you stated you did not have time for him- Dont confuse what I am saying. I do not think everyone is bad at parenting. I believe their are ALOT of good parents out their that care---AND GUESS WHAT THEY PARENT DIFFERENT THAN ME! I am pulling out comments that I do not like that you state about KIDS!!!!!!! THe truth is this kid is 11---I am not debating a murder, I am not debating a molester- I am debating a parent - YOU are all patting on the back for turning in her 11 yr old child! See what I state I also make sure that I hold up to myself with my children. YOu all state good job mom- and then say well I had a naughty child I did not turn in- BUT I SHOULD HAVE or more parents should turn their kids in TO GET A REAL TASTE OF LIFE. but hey my child is really good now------WHAT????? WHY DIDNT YOU TURN YOUR CHILD IN????? "

Emmy wrote on Jun 7, 2007 11:22 AM:

" "Your all Nuts" you still haven't answered the question. It doesn't matter if it is a major or minor crime, breaking the law is breaking the law. At what point do you involve the police? Simple question. I could care less if you try to prevent majors before they happen, it is still breaking the law as a minor. Are you immune from that? Are you immune from the law? "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 11:10 AM:

" Okay from one of my earlier post: I can not answer that as you see I believe in handling the minor so major doesnt happen. IF THEIR IS MINOR HAPPENING I DO NOT LET THEM OUT OF MY SIGHT TO ALLOW THE MAJOR TO HAPPEN (just an idea, oh wait that means I beat them, humilate them and imprison them, RIGHT)------You all act like murders are just murders- their was nothing that could have been done to eliminate it from happening. However if we really look into the history of these murders--something in their past has trigger the anger 90% of the time- abuse, molesting, neglect.....But lets just ignore that because hey it really doesnt affect us right now. Its an excuse, well now that they are over 18 it is an excuse- however it could have been prevented with PARENTING.. But hey that was a long time ago, or are they just building anger year after year after year. "

NoDak John wrote on Jun 7, 2007 11:04 AM:

" You will note from the article: "He said the girl received juvenile citations for theft and unruly juvenile and was released to her mother." Unruly juvenile does have meaning and the police did not put that in thee just for the fun of it. The child appears to be on a path of self destruction. I still say that the mother is a whole lot more familiar with the case than any of us. Secondly, I see that the police thought that the mother's concerns were supported or they would not have taken the time to "write her up" but would have, quite likely, referred her and mom to the school for a resolution of the problem. I hope for the child's sake that she gets her head on straight before she destroys herself. An undisciplined (self controlled) individual all too often become another statistic. I wish the mother and child the best. "

Also A Parent wrote on Jun 7, 2007 10:47 AM:

" I have been reading all the blogs, and said to myself I will not get involved, but Your All nuts has struck many nerves. I have 2 children, 1 ( who I will not say was an angel) that never got into any trouble basically was a model child, the other on the other hand was always in trouble, for something. Many times we bailed him out, many times we stood up for him only for him to have lied and then we looked like the fools, because we were told a lie and beleived in our child. And of course we thought everyone was picking on him. I did not turn him in but he got into more trouble and ended up in jail, served his time for the crime, and is out now has a good job, lives on his own, and pays his bills. Now he is an adult and he is a much better person than he was before. So am I a good parent or bad, I have to total opposites? I ageree that some children are beyond help and need additional authorites to step in and help out. I often wonder if I hadn't bail him out and let him take responsibility for his own actions years before, if maybe we would have avoided jail. I beleive the mother of the 11 yr old did the right thing. Nip the problem in the butt, before it gets out of control. "

Emmy wrote on Jun 7, 2007 10:15 AM:

" To "your all Nuts". After reading back through all of your posts I still do not see where you answered the question posed to you. That being, at what degree of crime would you actully deem it "OK" to call the police? Face it, stealing is a crime and you can talk until you are blue in the face about the mother parenting wrong, but that still doesn't change the fact that a law was broken. The police are paid to up-hold the law, calling them was following the law, had the mother not done so she would have knowingly aided and abetted, thus breaking the law herself. Do you believe the mother should have also broken the law? Would that be just honkey dorey with you? As an adult she should have to own up to her crime also, otherwise, what is that teaching her children? It's ok to to break the rules and laws as long as you feel embarrassed for what you did, as long as you truely are sorry for what you did, as long as you show feelings for what you did? What the heck is the purpose of having rules, laws etc...? "

A mom wrote on Jun 7, 2007 10:14 AM:

" To your all nuts: Not only are you the one that is nuts, you also need to go back to 2nd grade to get your grammar corrected. Also, unless we know all the circumstances, we cannot truly judge why she turned in her child. Perhaps it was the fact that she had stolen other things before and nothing else helped, so she turned her in to the police. We do not know that she knew about the first computer either before finding the second one. There are so many variables here, it is not an easy call. However, I do believe that this mother probably did do the right thing. Maybe it will be a wake-up call to this child. I just hope that your children turn out as perfect as you think they are because then they can solve the problems of the world for us. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 7, 2007 10:13 AM:

" TO ALL, except NUTS, my clarification is only going out to those of sound mind and body on my statement that I made was "it's because GOOD parents have tried to parent as well as they know how but some children are just beyond help" to those of us who are listening and understand common logic would obviously have interrpreted that that I am not meaning ALL kids are beyond help, heck I wasn't even referring to my kids or really any kids that I know of. My point was also made along with the statements that why do parents use boot camps, etc....... "obviously" there are parents who believe their children are beyond help "their own help" so they seek other resources for that help. Not all kids are as perfect as people on this blog make them out to be and some require MORE attention in the discipline category than others. Some people choose to put words in others mouths and twist something innocent into something negative for more to complain about. As if they don't have enough problems of their own. As I said in my last blog that was my last comment to "nuts" this was just to everyone else who didn't blow things out of porportion and truly did understand how rational people think. "

Jackie wrote on Jun 7, 2007 8:13 AM:

" Response to Your All Nuts. My point is about accountability - period! People are blasting this mother for what she did, and what she did was hold her child accountable for her actions, and give her a taste of real life. There are parents who would feel that the options you propose were too harsh, and would want everything dropped, simply because it would require some effort on their part, or maybe because the child's actions were an embarrassment to them. I have children, friends & family with children, and I know many people in the school system. Very often, parents will fight to NOT hold their child accountable, blame something on a teacher, etc. We don't know everything about this woman and her child, but it might be that the child has stolen before - smaller items - and the woman has tried other methods to discipline her. That may be why she chose such a drastic one, this time. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 7:55 AM:

" IDEA IDEA IDEA: Some one should create a mothers guide to the laws----we can all have one next to our phones ---This could tell us what is all illegal, (since we didnt know taunting and bullying and harrassing where laws) This would make it faster for us to know when to call the cops-------Page 6 states this is illegal, sorry got to call the cops-----Their is money to be made in this.....Mom of 2 since you know their are kids out their that are beyond hope- even at 11 yrs old ---you should start it!!!!! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 7, 2007 7:50 AM:

" to nutjob and PYB: and whoever else---I have stated many times what I would do! I really think you need to read all the comments not just he last 2 because of your tention span! And can I ask, you wrote like two things about your son and WP--are you proud or did you make all that babble up? I just question as none of us have come on her ranting of our own childrens accomplishments. DId you want me to start with mine too? YOur son did not know it was an offense to watch a friend harrass a girl? My guess honey would be THAT WAS ALL MADE UP! Mom did the wrong thing--As far as mom of 2 : Hello their is no such thing as a beyond help child! MAY I REPEAT THEIR IS NO SUCH THING AS A BEYOND HELP CHILD! Also to compare this (once again) 11 yr old to murder--is just plan wrong and stupid---Marjuana is a gateway to other drugs and Stealing now leads to MURDER. Who is nuts? Beyond help children--you my friend should set up a camp for parents labeled FOR THE BEYOND HELP CHILDREN--because if they are stubborn and pigheaded(also your saying) then my goodness my guess is it would be ful within the hour, only because it would free up the parents- they are beyond help! So you call my issues ranting, I am nuts, But who sounds the more negative on A CHILD THAT IS 11 not 15 not 18 not 20 not 21 not 23---OH well she is beyond help--acually I like that saying - so if you do not mind I will start using that in my concentration camp. DAUGHTER AS YOUR MOTHER I PERNOUCE YOU BEYOND HELP! hahaha A mind of your own, alittle spirit and you call them beyond hope--- "

at-risk wrote on Jun 7, 2007 2:54 AM:

" All things are not equal. Cycles of violence need to be stopped and continued criminal behaviors need to be eliminated. In some instances parents are the root of the problems of a child, in those cases teachers, PYB, detention centers, Big Brother/BS and various other professions are placed in a position to help. Each childs situation is different, each parents situation is different. The agencies and professions have an obligation to report abuse and neglect and they have an obligation to find a way for the child to become a productive member of society. AT-risk children are not equal, they need help, they need support and so do the parents. Whether you think this mother is right or wrong is not all that important the real first step is determining where this family is at and what can be done to best help them all be productive members of our community. "

Teacher and Parent wrote on Jun 7, 2007 2:22 AM:

" Do we know that she didn't steal both computers at the same time? Blaming anyone except the person who committed the crime does not solve the problem. My hope is that citizens have the courage to turn in other citizens when crimes are committed. Or at least to advise them to stop before that action is required. Regardless of age we all need to be held accountable either by each other or our own morality. "

Firing versus demoting: wrote on Jun 6, 2007 10:09 PM:

" Oops! Wrong page. "

Firing versus demoting: wrote on Jun 6, 2007 7:53 PM:

" When Berg took office he fired Heinert, but he didn't say anywhere along the way that he wouldn't. Heinert said he wouldn't do that, so had to think of another way to get Sevart down the ranks and the boys from the past up the ranks again. That's dirty - but that's politics. Love the comment about Heinert being second in command. Did he create this spot for Sevart, or did someone leave? "

to to nut job and pyb wrote on Jun 6, 2007 5:52 PM:

" you just solidified our comments on the mother doing the right thing by reporting her kid....THANKS...and....No, my son didn't report his friend. But he told me what had happened, before the police came, and how uncomfortable he was during the situation. Did he realize taunting was a criminal offense? no, not at the time, and to be honest neither did I. Now he does. My son also worked for Pride as a youth mentor before he left for WP, and his clients still miss him, and he visits them when he comes home. And a couple of his teachers have even said they hope their kids turn out as well as he has. And he'll finish WP, no doubt. You'll be seeing his name in the paper every semester when he makes the Deans List, But I digress.....I'm just saying a couple of mistakes doesn't mean bad parenting or a bad kid. There are going to be times when kids make the wrong choices, knowingly or unknowingly. But they need to know that they are responsible if they mess up, and if it's criminal, they are responsible to the community as well. Just because this girl stole doesn't mean she can't be the next teacher, lawyer, doctor....and if she straightens up, her record is clean at 18...it's a free pass. She has a heck of a lot better chance now than she would have if her mother just kept quiet, which, as stated, is a criminal offense in itself. She's even luckier if her case isn't adjudicated, then it won't even show up on her record. "

to nutjob and pyb wrote on Jun 6, 2007 4:47 PM:

" so what if you child made it through west point, he still hasnt finished!! regardless if he/she did the crime or did not do the crime. he/she is still held accountable for it, just for witnessing!! like they teach him/her in west point, if you witness the crime you are held just as responsbile for not telling. adults are held for witnessing crimes and then prosecuted just the same for not telling. too many people blame society. its all about parenting. "

to nutjob...and PYB wrote on Jun 6, 2007 4:25 PM:

" My oldest was cited for disorderly conduct. His crime? not stepping in and stopping his friend from harassing a girl. I told PYB it was not his job to stop his friend from committing a crime, but to locate an adult or proper authorities. His punishment was to attend a victim empathy seminar, with me in tow. Does that make him a bad kid? The caseworker said to me, in front of my son, "it WAS his responsibility to stop a crime in action, and I'd hate to see how he turns out with a parent like you!" Well...he just finished his first year at West Point. So take that PYB lady!!!! I guess my parenting skills aren't too bad after all. And I bet officers never saw an 11 year old blubber so much before they picked up my youngest two years ago at the mall for dialing 911 and hanging up...all on his own, it wasn't even a dare...he didn't realize it was a crime, and was still at the phone bank when the cops came in 10 min later, and arrested him. But within the hour he was a puddle of apology, banned from the mall for a year. Thankfully I didn't get bit that time, it was all his punishment! My kid who stole from Target learned a very valuable lesson, and that wasn't that mommy will make it all go away and if you apologize nice it'll all be over with, but then again, that lesson didn't come from the law. But, if a child commits a criminal violation they need to be held accountable to the community. If a child commits a personal infraction, then by all means, the parent should punish, within reason. I'd say in this case, majority rules. We support the mom, hopefully the kid learned her lesson, and hopefully, your's don't need counseling for the rest of their adult lives. Amen and God Bless. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 3:37 PM:

" My last comment to someone who can't see the obvious is I was shamed on for making a statement about children who are beyond help (which obviously happens) but in the next sentence you can talk about gasing a child because you don't want to deal with them as an adult. Don't fix the problem just be rid of them. Boy, I now more than ever feel terribly sorry for your children. You really sound there like you have made in your previous posts about talking to your children, You meant if they are perfect children talk to them, not if they are disobedient then they are worthless and no longer deserve to be here. Wow, good parenting skills that is!! I am done dealing with someone that is as condescending as you. Obviously you are the minority and noone being on your side is really striking a nerve. I can't imagine anyone having the same view points that you have made they are not consistent enough from one to the next. "

to nutjob wrote on Jun 6, 2007 3:32 PM:

" you did not say how you would deal with it....only that YOU set the LAW with YOUR children and THEY know the CONSEQUENCES. What are the consequences? You must be inline with Tom Cruise and think behavioral and mental disorders can be handled with a paddle. I repeat...you cannot be with your children every minute of the day. You cannot legally beat your child, and no matter what they have done, beating is not the answer. A teachers job is to TEACH. Not babysit. So, how do you handle the situation? Let's hear it. My kids have each had one run in with the law. None of which I called in, but had they committed a Class C felony that if done by an adult is punishable by 5 years in prison and a $5000 fine, then you bet your patootey I would turn them in. If you wouldn't then you are AIDING and ABETTING. OY. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. "

Emmy wrote on Jun 6, 2007 3:29 PM:

" to Nuts, you seem to have all the answers. I however, can just not believe that you have the absolute answer to this. The majority of the people posting agree this mother did a good thing, you don't. You are basically stating that most of us who agree with this mother are bad parents and are messing our kids up somehow. Yet if that is the case why are there not more kids like this 11 year old doing the same things. We apparently must all be doing something right or we would be reading about these types of cases all the time. Please don't tell me that every wrong doing we read or hear about is because of some bad parenting somewhere, that still doesn't account for the ratio of good citizens using your method versus the method of 90% of the posters. You said you like to debate but I don't believe debating includes insulting people and reducing yourself to name-calling ("ignorant"). Being the ignorant person I am I just can't seem to understand what it is you have against the police? "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 3:29 PM:

" As I have stated before but has fallen to deaf ears that I have never called the police on my children (but I also know they are not perfect angels) afterall it hasn't been "that" long since I was that age and I am not the naive one to what they are capable of. I don't see my children being that unruly (noticed I used the word don't see, meaning that I am fully aware that it could happen) to have to use those services but there are children out there that are and am thankful that those services are offered to help parents with their children when they need the help. As I said before talk about nuts............... "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 3:28 PM:

" I feel like I am talking to a brick trying to explain something to someone who can't fathom the concept the "CHILD MAY ACTUALLY BE IN THE WRONG TOO". You are throwing all of the blame at the mother for her actions but WOW remember this the child actually did something wrong to deserve that treatment!! Yes I did use the word CHILD in the sentence when I am said some children are beyond help, meaning that some don't "WANT" to be helped either. I also remember saying that alot of parents try everything they know to parent these children but some need additional help--AGAIN SOME CHILDREN DON'T WANT HELP. They already think they know it all!!! They are stubborn and pig headed and think their way is the right way (don't try to grasp that subject it's way to hard to understand). Don't imagine you've ever run into that situation in your perfect little glass house though. Sorry to try to throw some logic at you. You can continue your concentration camp and the rest of us will continue to parent our children. Good luck, you'll need it. Do you think you could make the statement ONE MORE TIME that the child is 11 years old, I didn't hear you the first 100 times you put it in your blog. That is where you are being buffaloed thinking just because the child is 11, at that age they certainly know what they are doing is wrong and if they haven't figured out the concept that it is against the law then they will soon find out. If you do the adult crime then they should suffer the adult time. Can you explain what should happen to an 11 year old that has murdered someone---go ahead take them to the victim and have them explain what they have done asking for their forgiveness?? Get Real!! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 6, 2007 2:49 PM:

" "I can also guarantee you that you cannot legally imprison your child at home." want to make a bet? IF he or she is not making wise decisions I will imprison them to home, All I have to make sure they are at school- during school hours! I will also help them understand that when they are making wise decisions the leash will grow longer --"I think our teachers and school staff have enough to deal with than to frisk your kid several times a day to ensure he/she didn't steal something." Did you read where I put WORK WITH THE TEACHER--if she knows that one child stole her computer last time---without me asking my guess that teacher will watch her computer next time! What do you think a teachers job is? My goodness they have my kids more during the day than I do--I can not work with them to make sure my child is well-mannered? YOu all act so lost with out the police---Are you helpless? "And don't go knocking runaways....people like me who ran away (at 14) to get away from parents like you CAN turn out great" wrong person I didnt knock runaways! "What are you? Democrat? Because you claim to know all the answers to solve the problem but choose not to share! " Independent and I have shared---READ!!!!!!!!!! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 6, 2007 2:38 PM:

" The reason we have police youth intervention is because....drum roll.....PARENTS LIKE YOU- who dont want to deal with your kids and then one days puts your hands up and states I'm done--SHE IS 11 YRS OLD, you are ready to taste the LAW. Re-read my posts and you will know exactly what I would have done. You have apparently not read what I have written if you are acusing me of physical abuse or humilating my child. "hard job to raise a defiant child" maybe the easiest solution would be to find out WHY THE CHILD IS DEFIANT! "some children are just beyond help (GAS THEM THEN- I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR BEYOND HELP CHILD WHEN HE/SHE IS AN ADULT!)-- you put children in that sentence, SHAME ON YOU but you do help me make my point on parents thinking know days "This mother took her responsibility seriously, which more parents should do" Obviously not--the child stole the same thing a 2nd time within the same school year! "Some families need more help than the parents are able to give." THen call Nanny 911 not the cops! "" what kind of job do you have that you can glue yourself to a pre-teen every minute of the day? " Well that would be called PARENTING- which I also have already discussed in an earlier post--MY 5th and most important job! "

you all are ridiculous wrote on Jun 6, 2007 2:05 PM:

" I think this mother did the right thing. Maybe the first time the young girl did wrong, her mother's message didn't get addressed as well as she would have liked. So she then turned it over to officials to put the "scare" in the child that will then make her think better next time she tries to pull a stunt like this. I give this mother two thumbs up!!! And to all you who think you were raised perfectly and are glad your parents didn't call the cops when they could have..get a life. "

To Your all Nuts: wrote on Jun 6, 2007 1:59 PM:

" This IS about the parents. The decision that was made to turn the child in, the parents wanting to instill into that child what consequences are when you step outside the lines, and whatever else. The parents are responsible for this child, she is only 11! This is about what that mom felt she had to do to teach this child right from wrong. The child stole without thinking of the consequences or about anybody else's property or rights. Is she going to teach herself? Apparently not. This mother took her responsibility seriously, which more parents should do. Rather than diminish the crime, or blame someone else, the mother put the blame where it belonged and took action. It was up to her now, so yes, this certainly is about parents, and the hard job to raise a defiant child, which this one may possibly be. It takes a village to raise a child, even if that includes police intervention. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 1:30 PM:

" To your all NUTS, You can not blame parents for trying to parent their children but it not working. Why do you think that there are such places as Juvenile detention centers, boot camps, etc....it's because GOOD parents have tried to parent as well as they know how but some children are just beyond help. I am not taking the parents side in this case 100% and only because I don't know this family or situation all that I am saying is that I do know people that have very naughty kids and like I said it's not because they haven't tried. I always think "let me have them kids for a week I will straighten them out". I was brought up in a strict household, showing alot of respect, etc but I am also aware that not all households run this way. That is where the open mind comes into play. Some families need more help than the parents are able to give. If this is the case in this story let the mother seek the help she desperately needs. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 1:16 PM:

" To your all NUTS, it is learned behavorial or born into them you ask.... I think it can be a combination of both. The reason I say both is because children can be brought up seeing parents fight, one beating on the other, smoking, drinking, drugs and some people can either learn from their parents and decide to go down a different path or some being brought up like that, that is all they have ever known or see so that is the exact lifestyle they will lead. Which I guess leads us to a very key word "choice". Which I do believe I have already said in my previous posts. You obviously have stereotyped most everyone on here that does not side with you into an "ignorance" category. Which believe ME does not offend me in the least bit (this may surprise you but I have understood and do agree with some of what you have said) because you have also sterotyped alot of other people in this very society as far as others that are less fortunate and on assistance or those that really do need help at point in their lives. The only person that I really feel sorry for is you because someday you will understand that (probably even yourself) will need help and heaven help you that you do not call the police and handle it yourself. "

to nutjob from sn68 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 1:00 PM:

" what kind of job do you have that you can glue yourself to a pre-teen every minute of the day? I think our teachers and school staff have enough to deal with than to frisk your kid several times a day to ensure he/she didn't steal something. I can also guarantee you that you cannot legally imprison your child at home. What is your punishment? Speak up, stop deriding, and for heaven's sake, learn to speak rationally! Ridicule and humiliation and attacking a child's self esteem is not the answer! Neither is following them like a shadow. Again...speak up on what you think should have been done the FIRST and SECOND time this child stole. Beat her? Lock her in a closet? Put her on a street corner as a walking billboard? All of these are likely to get YOU charged with neglect or abuse, but it indeed seems these would be your approach. Do your children RESPECT you or FEAR you? I bet the latter. And don't go knocking runaways....people like me who ran away (at 14) to get away from parents like you CAN turn out great. And make better parents, because we know what NOT to do! What are you? Democrat? Because you claim to know all the answers to solve the problem but choose not to share! "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 12:57 PM:

" To your all NUTS, You make the comment "you'd bet that the child received no real punishment the first time", what makes you so sure?? Unless you are the parent or in the house you can not make such assumptions (and not punished to whose standards, mine, yours or this mother in the story?? Everyone's degree of punishment differs.) I believe you assume that just because they perform these actions a second time, now that really doesn't mean that they weren't punished the first time. Does it?? How do you further explain "Repeat" sex offenders, murderers, rapists?? Meaning they have already been jailed, fined and gone through their "so called" rehab/counseling and then released back out into society only to pry on other victims. Now they are really not rehabilitated like they think or say they are, are they?? They were punished why are they repeating their actions?? Some people no matter how many times they are punished will not learn. Believe me I truly do believe that the punishment should be harsher than the crime because then they will not repeat their actions but it's called life and some it takes a life of hard knocks before they will ever grow up and some really never do. Some people just don't have a conscious!! "

One question: wrote on Jun 6, 2007 12:37 PM:

" Why do we have police youth services if no one should use it? Apparently this child is not one that will apologize and change her ways by being asked to do so! This is not her first offense, and if the parent discipline didn't work the first time, probably won't work the second time. The child is determined to do as she pleases, whether it's against the law or not, so the law needs to set the rules straight to her. Some children simply don't listen to their parents. They then need to hear it from someone else. These youth services are in place for situations like this, and possibly the "real problems" people want the cops to attend to are adults who were never exposed the the law when they did something wrong in earlier years. This kid got what she had been asking for. And yes, there is peer pressure. Listen to teens these days, judging others by what they wear, what labels on on their clothes, how much they run around and drink... it's not like it was years ago, and peer pressure is alive and very strong. Some kids can't overcome it, so they join it. Again, choices they make because they have their own personalities. I strongly believe in involving the police when parents voices fall on deaf ears. Do it for your kids before they become adult offenders. The penalties for that are much more harsh. Possibly involving the police will go beyond punishing her, and expose her to resources that will help her strengthen her self esteem and be able to overcome these temptations. My child was bullied severely and has never been the same. That may be the case here, her proving she can be somebody. Who knows? "

To Tommy wrote on Jun 6, 2007 12:19 PM:

" Route not rought. Obviously your parents didn't make you take English classes right? or is it rite? Let me know "

Yellin wrote on Jun 6, 2007 11:44 AM:

" I believe that amongst all the ranting that "You're all nuts!" is doing, there are some good points being made. Only time will tell whether turning in an 11 year old for stealing the second computer was the right thing to do. My experience as an educator has been that once you involve someone else with higher authority, you lose much of the authority with that child. Since our school has hired a full-time police officer, teachers have lost a great deal of authority with their students. Students who do not value their educational opportunities have become increasingly brazen in their attempts to cheat; steal and our statistics show that the number of level 2 classroom disruptions have increased. So bringing the police into the educational setting has actually done more harm than good. I have observed on several occasions, parents coming to the aid of their child and arguing with a teacher or the administration in the presence of their child. It sends the wrong message. I can understand if there is a legitimate concern, but in the majority of cases, the parent is trying to avoid having their child receive a consequence. They teach their child to be disrespectful, disobedient and dishonest. I believe children learn by example. If the parents cheat, by doing their child's homework, steal, by taking items home from their job or, lie, by avoiding taking responsibility for something they did wrong; little by little (example by example) they are teaching their child to cheat, steal and lie their way through life. I do hope that the parent of this 11 year old is able to rebuild the trust in her daughter. And I hope this 11 year old has learned a valuable lesson. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 6, 2007 11:11 AM:

" Mom of 2: I would not put it as I play mind games with my children. They are all fully aware of what will happen if they break a rule/guideline that I have set that I feel is important. But the biggest thing I stress in my home when something occurs - is HOW IT AFFECTS THE OTHER PERSON. FEELINGS...Putting it in terms of their favorite object. I will not pat this mom on the back for turning in this 11 yr old. I feel it is wrong to do to a child that is 11. A child messing up at 11 in THIS MANNER has more to their stories- and I feel as you are all jumping on this mothers ban wagon----Their is a childs side as well. Look at this post their are very few voices for the child.....ITS ALL ABOUT THE POOR PARENTS. Good Job mom, you did the right thing mom, it took guts mom........... "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 6, 2007 10:52 AM:

" Also mom of 2: "Some kids do have minds of their own and will decide their own fate. " KIDS should not decide their own fate. The fact that you accept that statement says alot---Why do you think they can not ruin their credit until 18? Why do you think they can not buy cigarettes until they are 18? Why do you think they can not drive until they are 14/what ever age? Why do you think they can not be in bars until 21? Why do you think they can not vote until they are 18? Because THEY ARE KIDS THAT SHOULD NOT AT THIS TIME BE DECIDING THEIR OWN FATE!!!!!! We as parents are responsible for them until they are developed enough to make wise decision! I have seen parents that every one think are the GREATEST, but behind closed doors- Oh they seem so loving, they are always their for that child. BUt somethink is missing if that child is not making wise decisions and they let him continue to make decisions for himself. THESE ARE KIDS WE ARE TALKING ABOUT....11 yrs old "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 6, 2007 10:40 AM:

" To Mom of 2: My whole point- I would not have given the child the FREEDOM to do it again. She is a child. If I were to bet on this, the child recieved no real punishment in the 1st incident. If the school knew who stole the 1st computer, Most likely the teachers would have worked with the parents to make sure a 2nd incident didnt occur. That child would not have gotten past the school doors with another computer and she would have known this creating the "stop for one second, THINK I know I will get caught" moment all children need to learn to develop---ALL EYES ON HER! Lets say you have a kid that just stole from your house. Would you allow her back into your house without watching her every move. NO- Let me ask you this Mom of 2: Some kids can and will be more mean and deceitful than others---your saying, not mine----Do you think these kids are born like this? OR do you believe they develop this from to tired of parents? Babys are sweet when they are born, but with no attention/teaching they will develop into WhAT WE AS PARENTS LET THEM DEVELOP INTO. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 10:29 AM:

" To your all NUTS, So it sounds like to me that your game that you play with your children is that of a mind game if they mess up? Am I right?? I am not completely doubting your child rearing skills and that they work or do not all that I am saying is don't believe for 1 minute that all children are not capable of worse than what other kids can do. I for one have seen exactly what you are talking about when parents to do pay attention to their children they are going to get attention from other's even if it's BAD attention by causing problems and yes those children need a good kick to the pants on a daily basis. I think everyone can and has seen that type of situation!! All that I am saying is why do you have to come down so hard on someone that feels this is the best punishment for their child. The mind games are the way to go for you because now everyone that doesn't see it your way are all ignorant. It's called and open mind. Try it sometime it's not so bad. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 6, 2007 10:12 AM:

" To Tommy and Your all NUTS, You 2 must have fallen from the same tree. A really high tree and hit many branches along the way. I have 1 question for the both of you....What if your kind of discipline was used the first time and the child decided to commit the crime again and again and maybe even again... How many times are you going to let them get away with it (yes I said get away with it) before you decide to prove a point or teach them a lesson? Not all kids are perfect angels and some need more discipline and attention than others do, no not because those parents are lazy and don't know what they are doing. Some kids can and will be more mean and deceitful than others. Just because yours are not (and mine are not) doesn't mean other people do not have a problem with theirs. I for one have an open mind that that is a possibility. I also know several people that are very GOOD parents and show their children much love, caring and attention that they can everyday of their lives and they are still mean and unruly children. I am not living in a fantasy land, but I do have pretty wonderful kids (that I never have had to call the police on) but also do not look down upon those that do and also know the possibility that this might be me someday. GOOD KIDS GONE BAD!!!! You can have this type of mentality for some of these kids but you can not just generalize that all bad kids that end up in trouble or in jail have had bad parenting. Some kids do have minds of their own and will decide their own fate. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 6, 2007 10:03 AM:

" to: Jackie children accountable for their actions----COPS ARE NOT THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR THIS.......... I have never once said dont hold the child accountable- however I am not so BRAINWASHED to thinking the government is the only way to hold my children accountable. DO you have a clue? Do you really think the government has now held this child accountable??? BE CREATIVE, MAke them work their tail ends off for the person they stole from. To be honest court almost seems the easier route---Slap on the hand, fine the parents just have to pay- and talk with the police once a month......I would have that kid FEELING what stealing is..............And if the person whom she stole from thinks that is to much time out of their day---I would work the crap out of her at home or offer to be their while she works for them--PARENTING (oh but that may take time out of my work schedule, i am to tired to moniter that , just let the cops scare her---THAT WILL WORK and I can go on and when the next thing happens wonder why what did i do wrong ) You people think I am stubborn--You all make me so angry at your ignorance. IT is SAD to see on this, that I am pretty much alone (besides a few) in feeling this way. You all would turn your children in......sad really sad for KIDS.....WHO DO MAKE MISTAKES..... "

Online Editor wrote on Jun 6, 2007 9:56 AM:

" To Your all NUTS: Please use less caps, it makes the comments difficult to read. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 6, 2007 9:49 AM:

" Many that think it wasn't that awful might feel different if she stole things from you. (NOPE, I WOULD STILL FEEL THE SAME WAY- HOWEVER GIVEN THE CHANCE I WOULD HAVE ALOT TO SAY TO THAT KID AND PARENT- BUT WOULDNT CALL THE COPS/ SOCIAL SERVICES MAYBE FOR CHILD NEGLECT) Kids have their own personalities, and parents try, but they are fighting society with the parents both working, too tired to deal with it, peer pressure and what ever else, which makes it very hard to get through to some of these know it all kids. (PLEASE I HOPE YOU DO NOT HAVE KIDS/ AND NEVER WILL. TO TIRED, PARENTS TRY (TRY, DID YOU EVER GET SCOLDED AS A KID WHEN YOU USED I WILL TRY, NO TRYING, YOU EITHER DO IT OR YOU DONT- PLAIN AND SIMPLE!) FIGHTING SOCIETY,THIS IS CALLED LIFE HONEY- IF YOU CANT FIGHT SOCIETY, WHAT TELLS YOU YOUR KIDS CAN? PEER PRESSURE, I BELIEVE THEY COVER THAT FOR YA IN SCHOOL! THEIR IS NO PEER PRESSURE, THAT IS A JOKE- LETTING KIDS BELIEVE THEIR IS PEER PRESSURE IS YOUR 1ST MISTAKE, THEY MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES- THEY STAND UP FOR THE CHOICE THEY MAKE, I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT SUZIE DID--- THEN YOU END IT WITH "KNOW IT ALL KIDS" THE ONLY REASON THEY FEEL THEY ARE KNOW IT ALLS IS BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS HAVENT SET THEM STRAIGHT! "

Jackie wrote on Jun 6, 2007 9:12 AM:

" Shocking - a parent who is actually holding her child responsible for her actions, rather than making excuses, blaming others, downplaying the situation, etc. Maybe if we had more parents like this, we'd see an improvement in children's behavior - both as children and later, as adults. Talk to teachers and school officials, and you'll find out just how bad things have become, with parents refusing to hold their children accountable for their actions. "

Tommy wrote on Jun 6, 2007 8:41 AM:

" I did allot of things when I was a kid that the "police" prob would have frownded on . My parents took care of any problems that came about with me without calling the police. (thank god) I am all grown up now and very happy that my parents did their job on their own and didnt involve the police. lazy parents might take this rought. real parents not only teach but protect thier childs best interest.. having a police record as an 11 year old is not in the childs best interest. period. I hope the 11 year old runs away @ 16 to get away from a parent that is to lazy to raise her.. maybe she can get thrown in prison at 18 and the tax payer can take care of her. most of the posts on this sight were obviously raised by parents that didnt look out for them. (when I was in school we had to walk 2 miles in the snow everyday, up hill... both ways) take care of your own kids and the police can concentrate on the real problems.. this 11 year old now thinks she is a bad kid with a police record.. you tell somebody they are a looser long enough they start to believe it.. example ::: repeat offenders when they are released from prison. "

Your all Fruits wrote on Jun 6, 2007 1:11 AM:

" I do not know why a school would purchase laptops in the first place. They need big bulky inexpensive computers that would be difficult to walk out with. A laptop is designed to be portable, to travel. Desktops are cheaper and are designed to sit on a desk. Placing that kind of temptation in front of a child is almost entrapment. Like leaving your diamond rings on your desk and leaving the room. Except your diamond rings might cost less than that laptop. What part of this is difficult to understand? "

To Your All Nuts: wrote on Jun 5, 2007 9:56 PM:

" This was more than a simple case of disobedience. Many that think it wasn't that awful might feel different if she stole things from you. Kids have their own personalities, and parents try, but they are fighting society with the parents both working, too tired to deal with it, peer pressure and what ever else, which makes it very hard to get through to some of these know it all kids. I think that mom was so right on in doing this, that kid needs to know there are consequences, and if she won't listen to the mom (and most kids don't) then she will listen to the police. I don't think an unruly or disrespectful child indicates bad parents. Not at all, it indicates a bad kid. Why can't kids take the blame every now and then for their bad choices? The mom didn't steal. They need to take the consequences, period. If she could figure out how to steal that computer, she certainly knew what she was doing and is old enough to face the punishment. Don't let these kids these days fool you into thinking they are little angels with a little mischief to release. "

Time to move on wrote on Jun 5, 2007 9:54 PM:

" I think everyone needs to get over this already. The mom did what she did and let the good lord take it from here and stop harping on what was wrong and what was right. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 5:13 PM:

" to mouth of the south: welfare is not the issue. I agree their are good/caring mothers that may utilize welfare and then go on. I did not mean to get that deep into welfare as an issue- I can argue both ways on that one. My main point is time spent with the kids- teaching them- being responsible for them- KNOWING PARENTING IS 24/7- we should as parents be passionate on that! I dont believe calling the cops was right- because I believe we need to realize it begins with the PARENT just as the finacial responsibility does. The government has no business in your life, you dont turn your disobedient child over to them. Wipe my hands I cant handle him/her. That is harsh........Their are good people who can not get some jobs over mistakes, why ---because we let to much go......Call the cops- This is serious juvinel record--this kid cant even ruin her credit because she is not deemed old enough to understand. Why do you think she would understand the full impact of a juvenile record????? This is what parents need to think of! THIER KIDS>>>>>>>>>>I dont think i am so far off my rocker......... "

Mouth from the South wrote on Jun 5, 2007 4:24 PM:

" to Your all Nuts; I did this to alleviate any possibilty of your accusing me of being a welfare recipient and then spewing your hateful statements about welfare 'moms.' You already did this once when I indicated in one of my posts about working with the Juvenile authorities. That again was not as a recipient. But, wishful thinking, you still ranted on. You are the only one insulting others on this post. Many of us applauded this lady for her stand. You, however, since your first post, have insulted her and others because of their beliefs on how they would handle this situation. And just why would I lose credibility by getting help through welfare? It is there to be used when needed and is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. So is dis-ability for that matter. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 4:12 PM:

" Well judge this was commited when I was off duty of being a parent. I told her not to do it about 3 months ago - I can not believe she still did it (probably because you werent paying attention! I can guarentee it did start with this, eyes rolling- smart mouth, talking nasty instead of the sweet 2yr old i once knew)- I can not possible know where my child is every minute - but I know I have to finacially support them because and only because I could go to collections says the loving parent. WAKE UP--THE PARENTS DID NOT HANDLE THE 1ST SITUATION- OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE SHE DID IT AGAIN......PARENTS BEING PARENTS 24/7 AND BEING RESPONSIBLE DURING THAT WHOLE TIME PERIOD WOULD CREATE LESS CRIME---but hey that would be to hard! I am equally held responsible for mine!!!!! OH but then we might take away some of their individualizm----who wants to be the kids friend? I say you become an seperate individual when you make smart choices, are confident in yourself, until then I will be your individual! Thats a parent! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 4:07 PM:

" Let me try to explain this so I do not get called a bitter divorced women, or a friend to my kids- and I really cant stand hearing the term "Tough Love" (get a life this is generic term everyone uses to get rid of the guilty feeling when they take an action they are not sure of---IF YOU ARE NOT SURE OF YOUR ACTIONS -DONT DO IT, at least one thing you can say for yourself when you are dead-WHEN I DID SOMETHING I MEANT IT WITH MY WHOLE BEING!) I feel the parents are responsible in some fashion for this behavior! As you said you made mistakes but not the same level as this 11 yr old. Kids arent perfect, they will make mistakes and we as PARENTS must guide them to live RIGHT!- Why do you think this poor 11 yr old went to THIS LEVEL. Something in her life is missing? So who is responsible. IF we can not figure out why now- She will only do worse! A judge will not find out why--- We do not know what goes on behind closed doors- BUT what we do know is that we do not want this kid to do worse as a society. FOR THIS CHILDS SAKE---why dont kids have to pay their own bills- why are parents responsible? I THINK UNTIL 18 (i would even go 19) PARENTS NEED TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE KIDS , FINACIALLY AS WELL AS TROUBLE! IF I were the one she stole from I can turn this to WHY did her parents allow this? I will not just be thankful they returned the item to me (thats generic, and is the easiest solution) As agreeing most 11yr olds do not do this level of petty thieft FOR NO REASON. I was a victim only because THOSE PARENTS DID NOT FEEL THEIR JOB WAS 24/7. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 3:06 PM:

" Yah and that is why you felt the need to make sure we ALL knew you were not a recipient! See you couldnt just leave the statement at "I worked with Social Services." you had to end it with NOT A RECIPIENT----why???? YOu would lose credibililty? why? Try again, no offense to welfare- it does help some causes but then get off of it--------ITS THE ONES THAT STAY ON WELFARE. Like I stated no better than the ones sitting on disability, who are very capable of gettting a job- even flipping burgers! BUt that would be degrading to them, so they will play the system for disability--Losers come from all walks of lives honey.....Dr's that file bankruptcy on their student loans---Donald Trump filing bankruptcy on one of his many companies! keep the insults coming...... "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 2:55 PM:

" Thank goodness I flip burgers instead of teaching your children English. We can all sleep better at night knowing this! "

Emmy wrote on Jun 5, 2007 2:44 PM:

" Why should the mother be looked at? Do you not think it possible that children can slip things by their parents? I used to all the time, granted not at the level this 11 year old did but still, kids hide things from their parents all the time. When you were a preteen "Nuts" did you tell Mom and Dad everything you did even if you know they would disapprove? There is no reason to accuse this mother of any wrong-doing. It really doesn't matter if she is on welfare or not, what does that have to do with a disobediant child? I love my daughter and try to watch all that she does, but there is no possible way I can keep tabs on every move she makes or everything she says 24/7. Do you "Nuts" think your children will tell you everything they do wrong, or everytime they break the rules? You are fooling yourself if you think that. I too would like to know at what level of wrong-doing would you call the authorities in? If the police aren't there to go to with crimes commited like this 11 year old as done, what do we have them for? "

Mouth from the South wrote on Jun 5, 2007 2:44 PM:

" to Your all Nuts; Sorry but being a welfare case does not make you a bad mother. Many very good mothers need help with welfare assistance at some time or another. How do I know this? Because at one time I worked with Social Services, but not as a recipient. There are many bad mothers out there that have never been involved with social services. Making a blanket statement like that is, in my opinion, way out of line. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 2:34 PM:

" Know you see why I flip burgers! Lots of love "

To Your All Nuts wrote on Jun 5, 2007 2:01 PM:

" Sorry to burst your bubble, but you did not use the word too correctly in your last sentence. It would be "get back TO." Too means also. Now, back to the issue at hand. Good job to the mom and hopefully this wakes the child up and this, or anything worse, will not happen again. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 1:07 PM:

" YOu see Emmy it is quite the opposite in which you describe- I cringe at Friviless Lawsuits---See I believe it is an easy way for a lazy person to not have to work for alittle while (I feel the same for workers comp./ just incase you were wondering, if my back hurts its because I have bad posture). I have more dignity. If I trip over your sidewalk, I then have the desincy to call myself a klutz. Now if you stuck a stick out and tripped me while I was walking by--I would just hit you and all would be done! Does this clear up any mistakes in my character that you may have? I still stand by what I have said. Now lets say the mother comes out to be a welfare case- would this change in how you feel about her actions---create doubt in just maybe the 11 yr old is left unattended to much. The mother should acually be looked at? "

Emmy wrote on Jun 5, 2007 11:38 AM:

" This mother did the right thing. It is people like "Your All Nuts" whom other parents cringe over. I understand what "Nuts" is saying, if this mother was perfect, this would never escalated to a 2nd theft. "Nuts" your type of parenting leaves me shaking my head. I believe you are the type of person who would sue the school if your child had been the thief, somehow twisting it around to be their fault. I also believe you would sue me if your child was in my yard and got hurt. I would assume as you grew up it was never your fault when something happened and you continue as an adult not to take blame for anything. Did you have the perfect life as a child that you describe your owns kids to have. I am a mother, I trust my daughter until she gives me reason not to. But just because I trust her does not mean I close my eyes to all of the things she could be doing wrong and say "oh no, not my daughter, she would never do that". I hope some day somebody won't have to say I told you so to you. "

Bad Apple wrote on Jun 5, 2007 11:36 AM:

" A few will ruin the whole barrel. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 5, 2007 11:15 AM:

" These blogs are for people debating the issue of the story. Could you guys stick to the subject at hand!! If you want to continue to bash each other how about getting each other's email addresses and going back and forth so the rest of us don't have to listen to all of your nonesense relating to nothing. Now look at what you made me do, the same thing I was complaining about!!!! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 9:42 AM:

" To:To 'Your All Nuts' wrote on Jun 5, 2007 8:52 AM: By the way, you should be using 'You're', a contraction of 'you are.' The word 'Your' is a pronoun. " Just maybe I am using it that way to drive you all nuts?? Or maybe I am just an idiot that didnt like english and really could care less now (on the bismarck tribune) Are we a bunch of English Majors on here? See some rich guy is paying me minimum wage to work for him- So I need to do these writings really fast as my true passion of flipping burgers, I need to get back too------Look I used "too" correctly! yeppie "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 9:13 AM:

" To Parrot: wrote on Jun 4, 2007 9:36 PM:Or should I add my hamsters two cents? Hamsters are not smart----they eat their young, they can not talk...Pick another pet that would acually make sense. THen it would be "cute" "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 5, 2007 9:11 AM:

" to: to you are all nuts wrote on Jun 4, 2007 9:14 PM: look at your english...Heres the ranting....See this holds true for EVERYTHING---You all want to trash with out looking at yourselves. When you can write a perfect sentence then come talk to me, UNTIL THEN YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY! See I have already commented on my own use of the english language and I have already commented on my own spelling. Did you just want to be able to say you came on here and wrote something intelligent? Also you should take a look at the eye twitching problem- I believe a medial professional will tell you that, sometimes that can be the first signs to a brain tumor. As far as you live in Bismarck or you dont---Does that statement do something for you? Do I care where you live? Obviously you miss Bismarck or you would not keep coming back to the tribune. Do you care where I live? I wouldnt Thank God so quickly I could be a relative. kisses "

To 'Your All Nuts' wrote on Jun 5, 2007 8:52 AM:

" I think you need to take your Prozac and calm down. By the way, you should be using 'You're', a contraction of 'you are.' The word 'Your' is a pronoun. "

Daughter of a former cop wrote on Jun 5, 2007 12:09 AM:

" i believe that the mother should've turned her daughter in for stealing. I'm the daughter of a former cop alot of times was able to get away with some things but had my share of juvenile and adult court mostly for stupidity on my part, but because my father was a cop he was not able to arrest me but he had no problem turning me in for something or having his fellow officers arresting my sibling and i. after this 11-yr-old goes to court and recieves her sentence maybe after listening to what the judge has to say and the community service and if the mother is anything like my father she would make her daughter pay restitution out of her pocket make her babysit or mow the neighbor's yard for a small allowance or whatever with the hopes that the girl learns her lesson "

To Parrot: wrote on Jun 4, 2007 9:36 PM:

" Way to put a stopper on the flow. For dumb. It isn't even any fun when someone gets that "cute". I'm out of here. Or should I add my hamsters two cents? "

to you are all nuts wrote on Jun 4, 2007 9:14 PM:

" Gee whiz... I am being to miss you and your wisdom. I wish to be enlightened by your insanity. Actually... my eye just stopped twitching from your horrific use of the english language. Thank god I don't live in Bismarck anymore so there is no chance of having to actually know you. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 4, 2007 6:02 PM:

" MY first error!!!!!!! George jr's wife is Laura Bush--not his mother Barbara---sorry Still think Monica is better than Laura too. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 4, 2007 5:25 PM:

" One last thing Funny Farm and Parrot: I have been happily(okay I have been happy, cant speak for him, but he is still here maybe it is the chaining to thechair)married for over 15 yrs to the same poor soul----You guys think you have a headache from me--Pray for him. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 4, 2007 5:19 PM:

" TO: FUNNY FARM AND PARROT: Obviously you are not nuts at ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell that parrot that I would rather have Clinton in office any day over BUSH. At least Clinton was getting something out of the deal. What has been Bush's personal gain? Barbara--I would say Monica is way better. You can assure parrot for me that my children have heard my rants on the government. My children also have their own minds - We also talk about not trusting everything everybody else thinks is good for us and to use our own minds. You should hear what I tell them on religion! "

Funny Farm wrote on Jun 4, 2007 2:58 PM:

" My parrot was sitting on my shoulder reading this with me. Immediately my parrot got angry at "your all nuts" person. I tried to argue but parrot bit me on the ear. Parrot insists that I write this about people who have obviously had the police called on them many times as a child. Parrot thinks the lady in the article and the "your nuts" lady are both rabid divorcees. Parrot says she is a beautiful parrot because of good genes. She says it's all DNA. However she thinks the mother should have taken daughter and computer to school and apologized. The child should have been part of the "embarrassment" and process of making it right. Verbally the parent could have made sure that the previous computer actually was returned to the school. Parrot thinks that the "your nuts" person's rant about the government being sooo trustworthy and her statements about bush and clinton are probably rants that have been heard by her children. I tried to explain to parrot that monica was taking advantage of a married man for personal gain and that clinton was a helpless victim. Parrot started to ruffle feathers indignantly. I think my parrot is smarter than a bunch of humans. (I was forced to say that or my parrot will bite me again. I’m sorry). "

Content reader wrote on Jun 4, 2007 12:36 PM:

" To: "To all": If reading these comments makes you so upset, you COULD just click your way right off this site, and then be happy as a clam. Otherwise, you could simply contact the Tribune directly, but you will probably get a similiar result. "

To All wrote on Jun 4, 2007 11:16 AM:

" I think we all need to drop this story. Because if not all we are doing is going back and forth with TO YOUR ALL NUTS. I just think he haas nothing else to do with his life then to say we are all wrong. Also stop and think what the mother of the 11 year old child is going through. And then to see all this. I am sure it is not easy on her. So I think we should just stop with the post so he has nothing else to say, or I think the press should take it out of the headlines. "

What can we do? wrote on Jun 4, 2007 11:09 AM:

" It is sad that this mom's situation got to this point, and I absolutely agree with what she did. But her situation should also be a wake up call to the rest of us. We, as parents, need to know where our children are at all times, and what they are doing. With some of the defiant personalities out there today, that isn't always easy, but we need to bypass our liberal society and take control of our kids. Instill, no - insist - on respect towards others and others property, and nevermind what so-and-so can do. How often I hear "well everybody else can", but I am finding out that everybody else "does", but not necessarily "can" if their parents were paying attention and knew what their kids were doing. Watch their computer behavior. Push your child out of the computer chair once in a while and view the current screen they are on. Do this when they are on myspace and don't give them a chance to "clean it up" before you get there. Check their friends myspace's, too, and you will have a real eye opener. Ignore the parents who don't want to spend the time dealing with their kids, and make sure your kids hang with kids who's parents care and have values. Be a part of your child's life, and if they don't cooperate, well....this mom had guts,and we need to develop them, too. Who is in charge??? "

gks wrote on Jun 4, 2007 10:27 AM:

" Where are our christian values? Though there is nothing unique about those values we make a big deal about "christian" values. The churches busy building larger edifices, have let us down. The media, TV web, paper and the radio constantly bombards us with things we could have. We forget what we have and WANT WANT WANT. But our Prez told us to buy when our economy was down so we as patriots buy -- all the time. The kids get caught up in the same desire whirlpool and get sucked in. adults and our churches need to set an example. "

Mom of 2 (original) wrote on Jun 4, 2007 8:01 AM:

" To Your all Nuts, I truly do feel very sorry for you and your kids! They sound like perfect angels in your eyes. God help you and them once they make a mistake that will cause a run in with the law (for whatever reason). It's a guarantee it will happen!! You know those parents that are saying "I didn't think it could happen to me, they were such a good kid". Eventually you will be the one saying it. MARK MY WORDS!!! Good for you if you haven't had to deal with it yet but someday and ooh some day will come that you will have take to take actions greatly than though holy self. Not everyone thinks their kids are bad or evil but everyone else blogging on here also knows of the word called "possibility" that it can and may happen someday. Obviously, none of us WANT it to happen but the rest of us are prepared for when it does. You on the other hand haven't a clue!! You can stay in your little bubble/fantasy land and continue to think they way you are but god bless your mental status when that dreaded day should come. "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 4, 2007 7:33 AM:

" There are 2 different people using the title of "mom of 2" I originally started using this blog name and someone else is also using it. My original and only comments on this section are June 1, 4:13. Just wanted to clarify for people on here who know me by that blog name that I am not posting the comments about my son. After all I don't have a son. Thanks "

NoDak John wrote on Jun 3, 2007 10:40 PM:

" Turn in my own child for theft or drugs? That would depend on how the child had reacted to discipline in the past and how they reacted to the question of the theft. Drugs are in a class by themselves because the drugs all too commonly “wrap a chain around the neck of the user and drag them through the gutter”. A child on drugs stands a rather poor chance of survival. I have worked with drug addicts for years now, and that takes so much out of you that you almost become numb to the depths of depravity they get into. Not all that happy with the “calluses” I have developed. Tommy, I knew a lot of the druggies in this area, and I used them as examples of “what not to do” because my children also knew them before and after drugs. I was very fortunate that none of my children got involved in drugs. Raising a child in this day and age is a challenge I would not want to face. If I did have to raise a child in this day and age, I would not send them to a public school unless I knew EXACTLY what was taught in that school and by whom. Even then I would make sure I knew what was taught each day. Yes, my children were given the “third degree” almost every day. Smaller towns, where the people know the teachers and the neighbors, might have a bit of an edge over metropolitan areas, but I am not all that sure of that either. As stated, raising a child in this day and age is a very difficult challenge, and that is another reason my wife and I are very involved in the lives of our grandchildren and great grandchildren. "

NoDak John wrote on Jun 3, 2007 9:41 PM:

" Since I don’t know either the mother or the child. I certainly don’t know just how much trouble that mother had with that child. Stealing that computer was no “mistake”. The girl knew what she was doing. She figured out how to remove the property from the school without being detected. The mother took the option she figured was best for her child. Hopefully the child grows a bit of wisdom, but without any turning point in her life, she may have continued on a path, which her mother knew, would eventually destroy the child. Raising a child in this day and age where the Dr. Spook idea still lingers like the stink of a rotten corpse. An undisciplined child is it’s own worst enemy. "

Enough already wrote on Jun 3, 2007 4:37 PM:

" Blah, Blah, Blah people-- anyone who has children knows KIDS MAKE MISTAKES>> they are not perfect, and neither are we just because we are adults ! Things happen and will continue to happen, and yes - we should do everything we can to help out our children. But LIFE is what it is , get off these people's back for crying out loud . The Mother is trying to do the right thing here, GIVE HER A BREAK ! "

Trouble for us all wrote on Jun 3, 2007 9:38 AM:

" This 11 year old stole not one but 2 computers! I've seen all to often where people - at whatever age - who steal just get better at stealing. If this girl doesn't get some dire consequences, she will just get better at stealing. I don't believe this is the first time she has stolen something. There is something wrong with an 11 year old's thinking. Either let her keep stealing or give her appropriate consequences. I would also say that this girl is doing other things that put her at high risk for many problems for herself and society. She has problems and her parents are in for a world of hurt if this isn't taken care of properly. "

to you are all nuts wrote on Jun 3, 2007 1:52 AM:

" I think you are giving us all a headache. You seem to enjoy reading your own blogs because you find it necessary to freak out about every little thing written on here. It is not necessary to put a thousand punctuation marks after each stupid sentence of yours. Get a hobby -- read a book perhaps on grammar. Thanks. "

Unreal wrote on Jun 3, 2007 12:27 AM:

" To Your all Nuts.... All I can say is Wow! Kids who have parents like you are the ones I fear my kids will become friends with! You can say and believe whatever you want, but major will still happen just because you so-called took care of the minor. I'm sure it ripped this mother's heart out to call the cops on her own child, but good for her. THAT is real parenting, THAT shows that she cares. A lesson like this will be make far more impact than some kind of grounding or whatever it is that a parent like you would do in this situation. Oh, that's right. This will never happen to you. You have stopped anything bad from ever happening because you have taken care of the minor things first! I hope you still believe in that theory the first time your child comes into contact with drugs, and they will happen at some time no matter what. I hope you still believe that when the pressures of sex take their effect, and again, that too will happen at some time. Any smart parent knows what is out there and what we have to fear. You apparently live in lala land, where a slap on the hand back when they tried to sneak a cookie out of the cookie jar just ended any future problems of trying to sneak a laptop out of the classroom! "

Mouth from the South wrote on Jun 2, 2007 5:21 PM:

" to Your all Nuts: I did not realize that this was a competition to determine who was the better parent. According to you, we have all lost. How arrogant of you!!!! My parents raised four children without any run-ins with the law but still were aware of how lucky they were, not how superior they were in being parents. And that is all you are, LUCKY. Do you understand that? Taking care of the minor problems does not give you a pass to no major ones. No one is a perfect parent, including you. But apparently that is how you see yourself. How SAD for both you and your children. No one said that this lady was perfect, but as far as I am concerned, when she knew that she could no longer appropriately handle the situation, called on those who could help her. That takes not only guts, but intelligence to know when you cannot go it alone. And according to your post, you have never had a naughty child. Maybe you just don't know what they have done? Is that possible? But according to you, not possible, as you yourself are a perfect parent and know everything that your children do. What a crock!!!!!!!!!! "

Just a thought wrote on Jun 2, 2007 4:51 PM:

" Unfortunately You're all nuts does not understand the concept of debate which he has twice before in this series of posts accused everyone else of not engaging in. A debate is the exchange of opposing ideas and rational thoughts or concepts supporting those ideas until one side concedes that they can not logically counter the statements set before them. At this point You're all nuts can only resort to insults and diatribe. This forum will never change the mind of those involved, nor is it meant to be. However, one would hope that the exchange of points of view would make everyone reading evaluate their stand on the subject and be able to logically justify their point of view and (hopefully never needed) guide future actions. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 2, 2007 3:02 PM:

" TO Mouth of the South and Just a THOUGHT: I can not answer that as you see I believe in handling the minor so major doesnt happen. Also teachers have 20 22 kids- not all of them have problems, so you see they need to take extra time for the ones that need it. HANDLE THE MINOR SO THE MAJOR DOESNT HAPPEN- Does NO ONE UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIVING THE CHILD THE FEELING OF NO FREEDOM FOR AWHILE (AT LEAST UNTIL THE YR IS OUT) WOULD HAVE STOPPED THE 2ND INCIDENT FROM HAPPENING---DID I LOSE YOU ON THIS???? As far as the Daycare---HELLO YOU ARE PAYING THEM TO WATCH YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!!!! TEACHERS ARE THEIR TO TEACH--DO YOU SEE ON THEIR REPORT CARDS THE PART THAT HAS CITIZENSHIP???? TEACHERS DO HAVE BIG IMPACTS ON OUR CHILDREN BUT THEY NEED PARENTS TO BE PARENTS! I HAVE KNOW REALIZE THAT I AM ACUALLY DEBATING PARENTS THAT HAVE NAUGHTY CHILDREN- THAT MEANS I AM DONE DEBATING YOU AS YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN THIS MOTHER!!!! I TELL MY CHILDREN TO CHOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY---NOW I MUST FOLLOW MY OWN ADVISE. YOU ARE ALL LOST CAUSES- RUN INS WITH THE LAW AND CHILD BEATS ON YOU UNDER THE AGE OF 14 AND YOU CAN STOP IT..... SEE MY CHILDREN ARE NOT IN TROUBLE, COPS HAVE NEVER BEEN ENVOLVED WITH MY CHILDREN-------SO WHO IS THE BETTER PARENT???????????????????? "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 2, 2007 2:41 PM:

" to Mom of 2; nice write a big long speal from your son---Your are getting original. I feel for your situation- However I wonder what your part is in your situation. YOu play games with your child- Right their not a good hint to what kind of mother you are. Your son beat on you- I did not know you were originally talking of yourself. So I was only putting in HYPOTHETICAL terms of the girl we are speaking of. I however do not feel one bit sorry for you- as YOU LOST CONTROL OF YOUR SON. See as you can read I am not real big on law inforcement dictating my life- I WOULD HAVE BEEN SMARTER THAN MY CHILD TO GAIN CONTROL BACK. ONE GOOD BEATING ON HIM AND I AM GUESS YOUR GAME WOULD HAVE ENDED!!!! IF you are afraid of social workers for spanking your kids- DO NOT HAVE KIDS!!!!!! As for he is 14 now? I question how old was he when he beat you SO BAD-----10, 80 lbs and you couldnt stop him? Smarten up- THis girl did not beat her mother! "

Mouth from the South wrote on Jun 2, 2007 1:18 PM:

" to Your all Nuts: What part of this don't you understand? She STOLED the computer. If someone had seen her do this, they would not have allowed it to happen again!!!! She is an eleven year old miniature thief. Even if Mom had checked her backpack and found the computer, she still deserves to be turned into the Juvenile authorities, because it is the SECOND time. This is not her first offense. She may have been stealing other, smaller items for years. And you are expecting a great deal of the teachers to constantly monitor ONE student. AND for how long would they have to do this? Until she is out of High School. You are, in my opinion, being unrealistic. Teachers have enough to do without having to keep track of one girl constantly. OH and by the way, in the REAL World, eleven year old girls get pregnant, steal, kill, lie, cheat and dis-obey their parents. What world are you living in? You are so concerned about this child trusting her mom in the future. I do not think that is of a great concern right now. Also, seems to me that you are perfectly willing to have everyone else monitor this girl, but not the police or juvenile authorities. It is certainly not the bus driver's responsibility to check on this girl. Plus, I don't believe any parent has the authority to order the bus driver to do this. This is why we have juvenile authorities and policemen. They are trained to handle this type of situation and they are the ones that should be helping the Mom deal with this, not the bus driver, etc. And we have some very concerned, compassionate juvenile authorities in our area of the state. I have dealt with them in the past and their only concern is for the welfare of the child. "

Mom Of 2 wrote on Jun 2, 2007 12:56 PM:

" To Your All Nuts!!! Fist of all the child that beat on me was a boy not a girl so get your story right!! Well you must think it is ok to lay a hand on ur child. Well what a good parent you are. Yea it is called TOUGH LOVE to call the cops pn ur child. It also hurt like you could not even feel. But that is right you just make things just go away for ur kids. YEA I WOULD HATE TO BE YOUR CHILD. Or even to know some parents like you. Yea ok who needs to read the book about PARENTS. And for you to be a cop. Yea OK who would want a cop like you. Besides that my son was in a group home with a cops son. SO YEA it is not just us normal people that call the cops on there kids the cops do it also. Because they know what TOUGH LOVE IS ALSO. SO I think you need to step back and see thing different in PARENT SKILLS. MOM OF 2 "

Just a thought wrote on Jun 2, 2007 12:53 PM:

" I believe that the debate has centered around whether or not the mother was right in turning the child into the authorities or not. You're all nuts has indicated that the mother was/is irresponsible for not handling the situation "in house". The question I posed yesterday to You're all nuts has not been answered so I pose it again. At what level of a crime do you believe we as parents should involve law enforcement, or do we wait until the child is unlucky enough to be caught? As far as the indication that the parent/teacher/school are at fault for letting this happen a second time...the theft took place at school, so using your logic, there needs to be one adult for every child to watch that child non stop every day and then each and every child needs to be searched before and after access to school property. Seems a little over the top for me. The parent did look in the bedroom, found the computers, returned one to the school (which is you're nut's premise for every occurance), on the second occassion the parent realized that the embarrassment of explaining to school authorities did not have the expected response so she did the next more severe action. So I ask, where was the wrong action on part of the parent. You're all nuts would have us all believe that it is ethically, morally and socially correct to cover up a crime, and subsequently teach our children that the only consequence to committing a crime is a scolding. "

Son of Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 2, 2007 12:40 PM:

" "To you are all nuts" I am the 14year old son of mom of 2 and you are nuts to not turn your kids in. See if your kids would beat on you you would not turn them in to the cops then you do not care about your kids. I use to beat on my mom when she would tell me what to do. Then she started to turn me in for it and then I final got taken away from my mom on Super Bowl Sunday. When I got taken away from my mom I was sad and I started to realize that I can not beat on her but then I started beating on the staff at a group home. They could not handle me so I got taken farther away from my mom and I started to see a councler and we found out I have ADD,ADHD,and ODD and if you are smart you would know what the stand for. Just so you know I have been the best son my mom could ever ask for. I think you should use some of your brains not just for your self but for your kids because if you care about your kids you would turn them in if they do something wrong. The reason why I am saying this is because if you do not turn them in when they do something against the law they will end up in jail or prison because they got away with it when they were with you. So they think it is okay to do stuff against the law. So they will do it when they move out of your house. But they will not have daddy to stop the police from takeing them to jail or prison because they will be old enough to do the the time for the crime they did. So you should think about what I just said and a parent that cares about their kids will turn them in to the cops. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 2, 2007 11:05 AM:

" OH wait-------I should just agree to pay know for the court system this parent is using BECAUSE THEY WERE TO BUSY TO TAKE CARE OF THE PROBLEM THE FIRST TIME----PAT ON THE BACK FOR THE MOTHER. WHile she is working to make ends meet for her family/ if she is not on welfare- and just figuring out which name brand clothes she can buy for herself/or how to get her drink on- cause she obviously could care less about the child- she proved that in my eyes- I should have my taxes raised because some parents CANT ACUALLY TAKE THE RESPONSIBLITY OF BEING A PARENT. CALL THE COPS LETS TEACH THIS 11 YR OLD GET HER!!!!!!!!!!!! My child just went down a hill to fast on her bike doing a trick ---She fell and is at the end of the street crying....SHould I just leave her their because she knew better than to be a dare devil, you know she is 10....IS this the TOUGH LOVE you are speaking of????? "

Mom Of 2 wrote on Jun 2, 2007 10:55 AM:

" You know what you sound like you think you know it all. Boy I think you need to go and take PARENT CLASS!! You were saying you would make things all better for your kids.NOW LOOK YOU WOULD GO THROUGH YOUR KIDS BACKBACK YEA OK like the bus driver has time to look into your kids backpack!! YEA YOU ARE NUT!! Yea I am a mom who got beat on by my child over and over. And I took it for a long time, and I had no choice put to call the cops on him. And that did not stop him we went through it over and over. It was a game for him. He counted how many time he got handcuffed and got a cop ride. Then it got to be to many times and then it was court time. Well that did not do anything for him either. So he got put in a group home in Bismarck. Well that did no good either cause he hit on the staff there over and over. Well next step was P.L.C. a nother home for kids. Well he was there all most a Year and he is the best child a parent can want and have. SO DON'T GIVE ANY PARENT CRAP FOR TURNING THERE KID INTO THE COPS!!!!! IT IS CALLED TOUGH LOVE!!!!! Now days tough love is different the when we were kids. We can't beat them like we got. Oh maybe that is what you do to your kids. GET A LIFE CAUSE YOU ARE NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIOM OF 2 "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 2, 2007 10:49 AM:

" YOU all like hypothicals--So here is one for you---Lets say this attention seeking 11 yrs old unattended meets someone on the internet! THen she meets the sicko at the park/ shes 11 park sounds real right! He rapes her---Oh my gosh, she is only 11----she didnt know any better. The sicko took advtange of the poor child. OH now she can hide behind the parents shield! KNOW WHERE WERE THOSE BAD PARENTS....NOW YOU WILL FOCUS ON HER REAL LIFE INSTEAD OF HER ACTIONS, as well as you should--hello....... WHY DO YOU ALL AVOID MY QUESTIONS THAT I PURPOSE.......COME ON DEBATE WHAT I AM ASKING---DOnt just ask me a different question back........................ "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 2, 2007 10:42 AM:

" Know lets move on the more hidious crimes this 11 year COULD commit. MURDER, SELLING DRUGS, at 11 if she is doing this ---I would once again go back to the PARENTS!!! WHERE ARE YOU???? Before all you righteous ones bring it up I will ---LETS SAY SHE MURDERS HER PARENTS....HEllo their might be a reason.....ABUSE, NEGLECT As far as my experience goes with my own children murder is not on the minds of a normal healthy happy 11 yr old. WHo gets to watch what channel on the TV is what is on thier minds- and what time the neighbors will get up so they can play outside. Some one said a 11 yrs should be able to hide behind their parents shield---HELLO SHE IS 11 - THE PARENTS JOB IS TO SHIELD THIS 11 yrs old- I know everyone leads very busy lifes- I have 4 kids...Our house hold runs 4 jobs and guess what I STILL KNOW EVERY STEP MY CHILDREN MAKE____WHY????? Because I love them and am investing in their futures WHICH IS OUR 5th(but MOST IMPORTANT) JOB!!!!!!!OR I SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD ANY CHILDREN------IT IS VERY SIMPLE PEOPLE.....OH maybe I am debating all the evagelical kind--and in THAT CASE MAYBE THE CHILD HAS THE DEVIL IN THEM.....NO HOPE!!!! Even that case shouldnt the parents have call the PRIEST/ OR WHATEVER YOU PEOPLE HAVE (SCAM ARTISTS, whatever) TO TAKE THE DEMONS OUT...MAN THOSE DEMONS ARE TRICKY OKAY GO, YOUR TURN. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 2, 2007 10:30 AM:

" 1st we are debating....CAN YOU ALL HANDLE IT?????? Deaf ears, I read everything (obviously none of you do) I JUST DO NOT AGREE WITH ANY OF YOU!! As far as the 1st time, once again- WHY IS THEIR A SECOND TIME, by the parents and the TEACHERS (should they have known who commit the 1st theft) A kid steals a LAPTOP and returns it---THE TEACHERS SCHOOL KNOWING SHE HAS THIS PROBLEM ALLOWS IT AGAIN---YOU DONT FIND THAT FUNNY. This girl is 11. This may take a few posts for all you slow ones- You see I am debated what accually happened. YOu all keep bringing in hideous crimes- so let me answer you on that!(however I like to debate what acually happened dont forget that) The girl is 11 so under I believe the LAW- SHE SHOULD NOT BE LEFT ALONE UNLESS SHE IS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH (which she already has shown she is not)---IF this 11 stole the first time- DO YOU THINK A RESPONSIBLE PARENT WOULD/SHOULD LEAVE HER UNATTENDED AT ANY TIME???????? HOw did she steal another labtop when she should have been watched?? What the problem is she did it the 1st time and didnt lose any TRUST. GO OUT AT 11 and YOU WONT STEAL ANOTHER ONE, I am sure of it says the loving parent and their life cont. with the mother and father to busy to acually take care of the kid. NOW THE MOTHER FINDS ANOTHER ONE ----PER THE ARTICLE IN HER ROOOOOM!!!!!!!! Okay as a caring mother my thoughts would be you stole labtop (1st one) I WILL CHECK YOUR BACKPACK BEFORE YOU ENTER THE CAR UNTIL SCHOOL IS OUT. LEts say she went to daycare- Well HER DAYCARE --THE BUS WOULD BE INSTRUCTED BY ME TO CHECK THE BACKPACK FOR ME!!!!THis would give the 11 yrs the feeling of NO FREEDOM. MAYBE I SHOULDNT TAKE THE SECOUND ONE BECAUSE MY MOM WILL FIND OUT!!!!! GOES BACK TO BUSY PARENTS....DOESNT IT--- "

Moouth from the South wrote on Jun 1, 2007 7:12 PM:

" What a great mom. She did exactly what she needed to do. An eleven year old is old enough to know the consequences of her actions. For goodness sakes, this is her second time around at stealing the same thing. So what if she resents her mother right now? That is what Mothers's are for. A lot of kids resent their parents for a lot less serious stuff and then we feel so sorry for the poor child. Children aren't supposed to expect their parents to bail them out of everything. That is not what trust is all about. Plus, what about the Mom's trust in her daughter? Would say that has been shot to pieces by now. Trust works both ways. Again, 100 pats on the back for this Mom. There is a time for police intervention and I would guess that Mom picked the right time. "

To Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 1, 2007 5:01 PM:

" Love your comment, unfortunately by reading the blogs, it will be falling on deaf ears for "nuts". "

Mom of 2 wrote on Jun 1, 2007 4:13 PM:

" To your all nuts!!!! To your comments on May 31 at 5:38, you yourself make the comments "we can't debate on what we don't know", how do you know your TOUGH love wasn't tried the first time the child stole something and didn't work and this was her second strike? You don't do you, not knowing all of the circumstances leave it up to each parent to do their own parenting. If you don't like it then have the mom arrested, ooh for what guess what she did the right thing so you can't. If you haven't read the whole story you really should re-read it, they said that she actually committed a crime--broke the law--where exactly do you draw the line at what actions that break the law do or do not require police intervention?? The same way the rest of us do, it's to your beliefs on the severity of the crime (in the parents eyes). Would you if she had murdered someone, possessed illegal drugs? Why wouldn't you for something less harsh? It's still considered against the law. Leave it up to each parent on how they wish to handle their actions, after all, she didn't call you for advice and neither would I. "

To sn68: wrote on Jun 1, 2007 3:43 PM:

" Even though the cops couldn't do much at that point, you got to think that the kid was scared witless during the whole thing - waiting for the cops - admitting to the cops and Target - and maybe that was enough. Kudo's to you for insisting the cops take him in, and for doing your own form of correction afterwards. With kids that age, I would assume the police can't do a whole lot, however, the kids don't usually know that, and just the experience of dealing with the police about something they did wrong should shake them up a bit!! Every kid who does something like that should have to face the police. After all, they are breaking the law. I love the part about beating the crap out of him. I am surprised he would try to steal with parents who obviously value honesty, but, kids do push that envelope!! Our job as parents is to let them know there are consequences. Love your story! "

sn68 wrote on Jun 1, 2007 2:44 PM:

" My son was caught stealing in Target when he was 11. He had opened and pocketed about $33 worth of merchandise. The police were called, but they would not take him in. I said if you took the trouble to come down here to Target, then you should take him in. I said if I take him home, I'll probably beat the crap out of him. Stealing, in my opinion, deserves harsh penalties. After arguing with the cops, they finally took him with them. Three hours later they told me to come get him, because they couldn't keep him. My punishment was to give Target $158 ($125 fine plus the $33 in merchandise). His LEC imposed punishment was 6 months ban and write an apology to Target. I am the one who had to punish him for his crime. Well, 7 years later, he's not had anything more than a couple of speeding tickets, just graduated from high school, and is in his second year of summer training for National Guards. Tough love never hurt anyone. Parents and law enforcement CAN work together. This girl will think twice before taking anything else, not because she doesn't trust her mother, but because she knows she will be held responsible! Hang in there mom! "

Just a thought wrote on Jun 1, 2007 2:10 PM:

" To you're all nuts...don't go now...it's just getting interesting...let me ask this before you leave in a huff...At what point do YOU believe law enforcement authorities should become involved....$2000 property theft? $5000, $10,000. Manslaughter, murder? At what point is it too extreme of a crime to handle it in the family? Or is it when and only when the child is "unlucky" enough to be caught by the authorities? That is probably at the point where there is little chance in rehabilitating the child because they have never learned that there are no serious consequences to any action. If you are a police officer, help us all, the police handle ALL crime, not just the select high profile ones. I believe that a true officer would rather nip in the bud a future repeat offender than arrest any abuser, etc. "

Your all NUTS!!!!!!!!!! wrote on Jun 1, 2007 1:44 PM:

" Maybe I am passionate because I pay taxes for those judges to sit their and deal with an 11 yrs old- When the parents should have watched her----2nd time why was that girl left to do this again? Why were the teachers not watching her closely to stop the 2nd time???? OR maybe all one incident and parents didnt listen----- I like mistakeshappens post---I will now just start calling the cops on all of your kids when I see something happens- THen sit back and watch all your posts, as taxes increase because we have to increase police for ALL THE PARENT CALLS---I cant handle my child. And when your husband beats you and you call the cops---they cant come right away because their dealing with Betty's curfew... "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 1, 2007 1:31 PM:

" I may have had some stupid run-ins when I WAS YOUNGER, but guess what I grew up and I AM A GOOD PERSON----WHAT IS IT TO YOU>>>> DID you bail me out?????? OR may be I had no run ins with Law and I am still passionate in my beliefs!!!!!!!! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW Tell me this- smart ones that have all the answers. The child will go to court- The judge will slap her on the wrist- BAD GIRL, the judge will send her home with her parents---GUESS WHAT THEY STILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER (didnt do such a good job the 1st time) , but know you have the government working with you(so you think with or against). IF she gets in trouble more (which 11 stealing, mom called cops to handle- chances are better than not she will be in trouble again again and again) YOu all will label her as a Menace to Society- (something is behind the stealing!!!!) KNow the next time she is in trouble has to go back to court and know the judge will send her to juvinile hall (what ever it is in Mandan) and know the parents who didnt have time before to teach the child will have to pull on another job (leaving absolutely no time for the other children, should their be any) to pay THE STATE CHILD SUPPORT for having to raise their evil child- that they could not handle in the first place- What will become of the girl, the parents, and other siblings?????? My guess should the MOTHER come on this website (which she shouldnt, sounds as if she needs to spend time with the child and not the internet) She will have regrets she know gave the Government ammo to become involved in their every day business. Oh but now the parents only have to deal with the girl on visiting hours----Lets just skip all the games and put her in the instituation right now!!!!! "

My opinion: wrote on Jun 1, 2007 1:14 PM:

" I don't think she relied on the government to discipline, I think she was showing her daughter what her responsibilities are to others, and what the consequences are if you don't follow the law. This 11 year old stole a $1200 item. And it was not her first offense!! Society says parents can't discipline as they see fit (no more woodsheds, which is too bad), society says schools have to tread carefully around these kids and not step in too deeply, you know, About the only people who can do anything anymore is law enforcement. And, sadly, when parents try to explain right from wrong and get the old sigh and eye roll, you know those kids are not listening, sometimes it takes the big dogs to get the message across to this generation of kids motivated by peer pressure and lack of conscience. The frustration level of parents who's kids keep doing the same things they know are wrong is extremely high. Let this woman do what she feels she has to do, since none of us know her child or the attitude the child has. Obviously, she thinks she was entitled to steal the computer. "

Get Real wrote on Jun 1, 2007 12:55 PM:

" To You're all NUTS!! Sounds like you have had a run-in with law enforcement and are very passionate about your feelings. Well, if we did not have law enforcement to control happenings in our society we would have bedlam. If you don't like it, maybe you should move out of the country. I have worked with troubled youth at the elementary and middle school levels for more than 10 years. In my experience the parent needs to nip behaviors in the bud asap. Parents do kids no favors by not making them accountable for their actions, and kids need to underatand that they are responsible t their parents as wel as other adults., "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on Jun 1, 2007 12:02 PM:

" Oh my gosh- My child just came home and went TANNING without my permission at a friends/house and not a salon........I believe this is know against the LAW---SHOULD I CALL THE COPS AND TURN HER IN?????????? I need to teach her tough LOVE---WHAT IS TOUGH LOVE??????? read another book because all of you should not have had children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF you can not raise them without the guideance of a book YOUR ALL NUTS-----------------------------Please mother of 2 I am not debating PHYSICAL HARM, you can not even compare, if your kid can beat on you I believe you are big enough to beat on her back-----TELL ME YOU COULD OUT SMART HER WITHOUT HURTING HER. YOU GO, MOM!!! PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME THIS MOTHERS STORY IN 2 YRS on how this child turns out!!!!!! I already know the road---SOUNDS LIKE NONE OF YOU DO!!!!!!! YOU all are to righteous, I am done. GOD HELP ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN (WHO WILL MAKE A MISTAKE!!!!) I would not want to BE A FAMILY MEMBER OF ANY OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ps: How do you know I am not a cop-----still annoyed by this parents actions. I may have better things to do like, ABUSE OR DRUGS OR CHILD MOLESTING no the cops have to waste their time on your children because you can not think of CREATIVE EFFECTIVE WAYS OF HANDLING YOUR FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!! Just a THOUGHT. 11 yrs old people- I say hall the parents in to see what their part in this is!!!!!!!! "

mistakeshappen wrote on Jun 1, 2007 11:59 AM:

" Seems like what you police lover advocates are saying is, whenever your child commits a crime you would turn them into the police. Betty, I saw you litter so I called the cops for your own good. Danny, I found out you sprayed graffiti on our neighbor’s fence so I called the cops for your own good. Sally, I see you were out past curfew last night so I called the cops for your own good. Brian, the store manager caught you stealing at his store so I asked him to call the cops on you for your own good. Come on people! She is 11 years old! Handle the punishment yourselves! Punish yes, but do not resort to using the government to do your discipline for you. "

Grumpy Old Bachelor wrote on Jun 1, 2007 11:23 AM:

" Anyone who has kids on purpose is obviously insane. "

Shocked! wrote on Jun 1, 2007 11:04 AM:

" I would lock that school if I were the teachers. "

Yellin wrote on Jun 1, 2007 10:40 AM:

" Tommy, So you're saying, no matter what a child does, they should not be held accountable for their actions by their parents? My parents told us, "You do something stupid enough to get yourself arrested and thrown in jail, don't use your one call on us; we won't be coming to get you." We weren't perfect, but none of us did anything that would've gotten us arrested. In college, I had a suite-mate that stole my information to get an ID so she could go to the bars. I didn't turn her in, but she ended up getting put on academic probation and eventually quit because she had gotten too involved in "party life" and couldn't make the grades. The consequence was not deemed a felony, but the outcome was the same: she has missed great job opportunities because she didn't get a college education. Your friend knew there would be a consequence if he got caught, he just didn't realize the gravity of his actions; most kids don't think that far. In this story, the parent made a decision to get the police involved because of the seriousness of her child's REPEATED actions. Only time will determine if her choice was a good one. When making an important parental decision, the results are not instantaneous. That's why it is so vital to be involved in your child's RAISING. Don't let them grow up floundering to make their own decisions. SHOW THEM THE WAY! "

Not that easy: wrote on Jun 1, 2007 10:26 AM:

" I am going to guess this mother has taught her child right from wrong, or she wouldn't have been so upset herself about what her child did. Children have their own personalities, and we can talk until we are blue in the face about right from wrong, yet they will still step over the line and test the waters, be it peer pressure, the rush of a challenge, whatever..and that's where parents need to be firm and put the responsibility on their kids when these kids know better. When kids make a bad choice, they suffer the consequences. Period. We have often told our daughter if she gets in trouble in school, that's a piece of cake compared to when she gets home. If she still decides to chance it, we need to follow through and help her realize it may not have been worth it, and to weigh the outcomes against each other. Parents jobs are not to sit back or look the other way, although way too many do, because they don't want to deal with their kids. Knowing todays kids, possibly this child was defiant and out of control. I say good for that mom, parent first, friend later.... "

Just a thought wrote on Jun 1, 2007 10:23 AM:

" To Tommy...So you are saying that ignorance is a valid defense. He knew that altering an ID to buy liquor underage was illegal, I'm sure that was most of the challenge of the entire action. The only thing he didn't know was that it was a felony, but I'm guessing that having that knowledge would not have stopped him. It wasn't drinking a beer, it was trying to get away with doing something illegal. Why shouldn't he have to bear the consequences of that act? A crime is a crime...As the saying goes.....If you don't want to do the time....don't do the crime. "

Mom was right: wrote on Jun 1, 2007 10:17 AM:

" I'm sure this mother thought this over very well, considered instances and situations she dealt with in the past, and felt this was the only way to get the message to this kid. Should she have waited until the kid stole a car? We pamper our kids so darn much these days, can't spank them, can't discipline them, and kids know it and are running wild. They have NO respect for anyone or anything, or other's property. Society is raising a bunch of arrogant fearless bullies. Unconditional love does not mean watching your child destroy herself and dig herself in deeper. It means taking responsibility for your child in whatever form you need to for whatever the child has done, and love your child when it is over. Unconditional love includes parenting and teaching kids!! Rather than harbor bad feelings for her mom, this child needs to put the blame where it belongs - on herself - and take the consequences. Far too many times we bail out our kids and they are free to do the same things over and over. At least this girl will be looking over her shoulder and stealing won't be as easy as it was before. She now KNOWS there are consequences. Why are we so afraid of our kids? Just when and how do we take back control? This child is 11 years old!!! The mother's responsibility is to teach this child right from wrong, what society expects and what society will tolerate. You go, Mom. If all parents had the strength and courage that this mother has, we would have a batch of respectful and pleasant kids, not the nasty bunch we're cultivating. "

Just a thought wrote on Jun 1, 2007 9:45 AM:

" When I was a kid, my parents would remind me that if I ever ended up in jail, I might as well figure on staying there because they were not coming to bail me out. I believed them because they were always consistent with the parenting. If they promised something, either good or bad, we all knew that it would be so. I grew up with a healthy respect for the law, law enforcement and my parents. I didn't grow up resenting the fact that they would do something like that to me and I also grew up knowing that, irregardless of what I did and the consequences of my actions, I was loved. As I have stated in earlier posts, my parents were not entered in a popularity contest with me, they were my parents. Perhaps, in this case, the mother promised to call the authorities after the first incident, when the second occured, she, as a good parent, had to follow through with the promise or risk the consequence of the child knowing that they could do whatever they wanted and the appropriate consequence dictated by society didn't apply to her. She would then continue to push the envelope until something finally pushed back, maybe at a point where there would be really severe and dangerous life altering consequences. "

Mother Of 2 wrote on Jun 1, 2007 9:24 AM:

" To Your Nuts:: So what would you do if ur child started to beat on you??? Whould you just tell ur child it is ok don't do it again?? So you would not call the cops on ur child for that??? Let me guess you would just make it ok for your child to do that to you or your wife?? That is a good way to raise ur child!!! Yea I bet ur kids will be in lots of trouble when they get old enough and move out of ur house .Cause mommy and daddy made things all better for them. That is right your nuts!!!! "

Mother Of 2 wrote on Jun 1, 2007 9:18 AM:

" To Your Nuts:: So what would you do if ur child started to beat on you??? Whould you just tell ur child it is ok don' do it again?? So you would not call the cops on ur child for that??? Let me guess you would just make it ok for your child to do that to you or your wife?? That is a good way to raise ur child!!! Yea I bet ur kids will be in lots of trouble when they get old enough and move out of ur house cause mommy and daddy made things all better for them. That is right your nuts!!!! "

Tommy wrote on Jun 1, 2007 8:49 AM:

" I have a friend that altered his ID when he was 17 and was caught trying to buy a beer. His Father would not let him get an attorney to fight it because he wanted him to be "accountable" for his actions.. Altering a Federal ID is a Felony a 17 year old would not know this. HE is now 35 years old and that felony did not get erased @18 .... he has missed great job opportunities because of this felony on his record... Parents need to Teach and Protect their children... not call the cops on them. A good parent can teach a child a lesson without police involvment. I'm sure this 11 year old will harbor bad feelings for her mom for the rest of her life.. I sure would. Should have made her return it an appologize in person to the school. "

Teichthesen wrote on Jun 1, 2007 7:03 AM:

" I believe in the "Three Kick Method". Once in the rear end at breakfast to get them going, once again in the rear at lunch to keep them going and once more at night to remind them that it starts again the next morning. Teach your children responsibility so they don't grow up to act like old hippies who never grew up. When it comes to raising your kids? Just say "No" to old hippies. "

caring mom wrote on May 31, 2007 8:33 PM:

" I think the mom did the right thing, I have kids and I love them to pieces, but there is a time if something like this happens, I would call the cops too. This child is young, she needed to have consequences for her actions. Tough love is the best love you can give your child. This had to have been hard on this mother, and surely it's none of your business how she handled this situation, and she definetly doesn't need to read any of this garbage. Like someone else wrote, your not your childs friend, your their parents. It's our job to raise good, responsible, caring adults, they have plenty friends. Good job mom and god bless your family! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 7:03 PM:

" Do you all think that the only way you can hold a kid accountable is by calling the police?????? Use your head- as I tell my son-----THINK BEFORE TALKING, TAKE ONE MINUTE AND EVALUATE WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY.............. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 5:38 PM:

" do you or I even know how the first one was handled----NO how do we know mommy and daddy didnt hide it the 1st time. Just came out the second time --------- How do we even know it wasnt turned in without them knowing who it was- we dont so could be no lesson learned-----we cant debate what we do not know! I dont care how many times a 11 year old stole- THEIR IS A REASON SHE KEEPS CONTINUING TO DO THIS. KNOWING THE 1ST TIME HAPPENED _______WHY WOULD SHE DO THE SAME THING?????????????? I am sure shes got some real GREAT PARENTS. YOU STILL DO NOT TURN YOUR OWN KIDS IN TO THE COPS on PETTY YES PETTY crimes! WHY DO YOU KEEP STATING I AM MY KIDS FRIEND???????? THE COPS ARE NOT AT MY DOOR FOR MY KIDS- I hold my children responsible just in it sounds like a more honorable fashion.....ITS NOT ALL ABOUT BEING THEIR FRIENDS- THIS HAS NEVER BEEN MY POINT..........Read another book that tells you how to parent! "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 5:29 PM:

" TO Just a Thought: Hello, did I anywhere say the child should not be held accountable? Did I anywhere state the parents should hide the crime?????? NO I STATED THE GIRL SHOULD BE BROUGHT IN FRONT OF THE PERSON SHE STOLE FROM!!!!! THE PERSON FROM WHOM SHE STOLE FROM SHOULD SHAME HER --------NOT HER FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! READ PEOPLE READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get off of your soap boxes! she is 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you guys are not even fun to debate- Hello I know my spelling leaves something to be desired sometimes but at least I am not clueless!!!!!!! "

Hey, nuts wrote on May 31, 2007 5:19 PM:

" If that is how you handle situations with your kids, that must be why our police have a youth services department. From what I read, you are teaching your children to make all the "mistakes" they want because mommy and daddy will fix it and make it all better. "

To Nuts... wrote on May 31, 2007 5:18 PM:

" I think you are missing the fact that this is the SECOND time this girl did this. Apparantly the compassion and such you are babbling about did not work the first time. Another avenue apparantly needed to be ventured. "

Just a thought wrote on May 31, 2007 4:56 PM:

" I have a hypothetical for You're all nuts. You own a business, an 11 year old breaks in and steals a computer from you and it is caught on security cameras. What would you do? According to your posts, you would just sit back and wait for the computer to magically and anonymously reappear and there would be absolutely no recriminations for that act. Because there cannot be any damaging of the childs psyche be holding them accountable for their actions. I don't think that is the case. However, if it was your child caught doing the exact same thing, you would be teaching them to hide the act and let mom and dad cover it up for you. "

Hmm wrote on May 31, 2007 4:05 PM:

" I was telling my 11-year-old about this situation and some of the comments regarding this. He said to me "the mom did the right thing. The police should have been involved." "

Look who's nuts wrote on May 31, 2007 4:00 PM:

" To your all nuts, Of course these celebrities are REAL people, just because they have alot of money, publicity, etc, etc doesn't mean they are not real people. And look at all of them and being in the public eye their entire lives what they have turned into, A Menace to society!! They 2 are children and if they are not now they once were and still in the public eye. Their parents probably tried to show them compassion also instead of doing the RIGHT thing and having them arrested when they should have. Wonder what is going to happen to Paris Hilton (and maybe Lindsay Lohan) after having to spend jail time. Do the crime, do the time. I would figure the good jail time will be a real eye opener. Ooh and by the way cheating on your taxes is also Illegal. Try to see someone get away with it once they are caught also. Good comparison though-Not really!!!! You keep showing your children that you are their best friend (compassion that's what friends are for) and I will continue to PARENT (teaching them right from wrong) my children and we shall see whose turn out better?!?!?!?!?! I'll put money on mine. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 3:44 PM:

" Stealing is not the debate-----READ--------How to handle the situation is the debate. "

Stealing is stealing is stealing... wrote on May 31, 2007 2:36 PM:

" Whether it is a 89cent candy bar or a $1200 laptop....stealine is AGAINST THE LAW people. I can't believe you are even trying to debate that! Not too many years ago a sheriff lost his job for stealing a candy bar! Why....because stealing is ILLEGAL! "

To stick together wrote on May 31, 2007 2:34 PM:

" This was not a family matter. She stole from the school not another family member. Therefore police involvement is appropriate. "

My point of view wrote on May 31, 2007 2:32 PM:

" If I would have been the one stealing a computer while I lived under my parents roof I would guarantee one thing I would have had one heck of an attention getter after the first computer, therefore, the second one would have never happened!! Same with my 2 children now, if it happens once it's going to get nipped in the bud before something more serious happens and I will tell you one thing they don't fear the cops as much as they would fear having to come home and explain it to their father, they would have wished all I did was call the cops. It's not called child abuse because there father doesn't even have to touch them it's the other things that will make them realize that if they'd ever try that again they'd have wished that I called the police on them, they'd be alot easier on them than their father would be. That same kind of discipline was taught to me and my husband as we were growing up and instilling it on our children I can assure you they have turned out pretty darn well. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 2:10 PM:

" Wait ....I can hear it now-----OUR GOVERNMENT IS SOOOOOOO TRUST WORTHY!!!!!! They do a great job and none of them are crooks- ASK BUSH. I suppose then Clintons parents did an injustice to him when they did not turn him in for almost inhaling Marjuana? IT was in his presence and I am just guessing BUT THEIR IS LAW AGAINST THIS AS WELL?????? "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 1:54 PM:

" To: Just a Thought- I could care less about Paris Hilton AND Brittney Spears- To me they are not even REAL people! GET A LIFE----also "We have the job of preparing our children to live productive, responsible adult lives. " Where in that job title(parenting) does it tell you to be the one to turn your kids in? Where in that job title does it say to get your kids information turned into the FBI list FOREVER? YOu all are smart enough to know that no matter the age or the crime, once you are put into the system you will forever be in the database. In which the government know has info on you!!!!! IS that what we should all do with our kids. I just heard a comment on a news story, a few/ the kid who made a STUPID bomb threat- like kids in North Dakota are really going to get into the Civic Center w/ a bomb when They wont even let you in with a Baby Bottle of MIlk OR a cooler of drinks for sporting events-------HE HAD A JUVINIAL RECORD. PEOPLE THIS GIRL IS NOW LABELED W/ A JUVINIAL RECORD??????????? Get your heads out of your butts and smell the rose- WHAT MORE THIS REALLY MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOUR PARENTS HELPED!!! WAY TO GO FAMILY "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 1:42 PM:

" I have never cheated on my taxed either- however I hear all the scams!!! Claiming what you know is not right......The argument is not about what they stole! At 11 yrs old their is a way bigger reason on WHY THEY ARE STEALING in the 1st place. I have 4 kids and all under 15 yrs of age. I AM IN NO WAY A PERFECT PARENT but my kids have not stolen anything WHY?????? because I am a PARENT that is involved- I talk with them, I show TRUE interest in the other aspects of LIFE!!!!! We have not even ran into this- IT IS NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE ANGELS, IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE TEACHING THEN CONSTINTALLY on other accomplishs. You my friend are way off point! Who really cares if it was a laptop or a candy bar. What happened to compansion, what happen to making them have to go up to the person /who they cheated from and make them FEELING the imberessment? Why call the cops, what is the accomplishment? So they now are angry- so they now feel even more sorry for themselves????? It is all about lessons!!!!!! Once again a parent just quick to let someone else through the book at the BABY!!!!!! WHAT KIND OF PARENT IS THIS---------------LAZY not taking this oppuritunity to teach this baby(yes baby) a VERY VALUEABLE LESSON. Let the person who was (cheated) be the angry one- Making the child FEEL their angry FEEL embarressed- All why you are still the caring loving parent that will stand by their child why teaching them FEELINGS_-------FEELINGS IS WHAT IS LOST IN SOCIETY!!!!!! A judge, the youth correctional facility this makes a CHILD FEEL ANGRY AND ALONE---YOU TURNED THEM IN!!!!!!!! NO lesson here! THis is also teaching them early one to be leary of everyone around you! IF you mess up - YOU ARE JUST A MENACE. "

to stick together wrote on May 31, 2007 1:34 PM:

" So if your son murders somebody or sells meth to younger kids are you going to stick by them at all costs or turn them in? How about if they a rape somebody? "

catdog wrote on May 31, 2007 1:06 PM:

" I'm scared that people feel the way "You're all nuts" does. It's no wonder there has been a decline in accountability in kids. Trust should be that you will do what's best for a child and be there for them, not that you bail them out. It's part of life to deal with negative situations that have been created by bad choices. The job of a parent is to prepare a child to be a well adjusted adult, not to be a buddy as the time. "

Just a thought wrote on May 31, 2007 12:23 PM:

" How many of those posters decrying the mother for her actions also make comments about Paris Hilton, Britney Spears saying "It's about time". Guess what, if they had not had parents, managers, etc. covering their backsides everytime they did wrong, telling them it's OK, we'll handle it internally, they probably wouldn't be in the news for the reasons they are now, rather for the talents etc. they have. I believe that the parent did the right thing, especially since it was a repeated act. Parents are do not have the job of being your child's best friend, that is what other children are for. We have the job of preparing our children to live productive, responsible adult lives. "

To Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 11:24 AM:

" So because it is 2007, I am supposed think that a kid stealing a laptop is no worse than a kid stealing a candybar 10-20 years ago? "Time period" is not even a valid argument. Back then, as you refer to, there may not have been laptops, but there were things that cost way more than candybars that were not ok to steal even back then. And just because it is 2007 doesn't mean that kids aren't stealing candybars anymore either. In fact, I should hope that if a child is going to make a wrong descision to steal something, it would be an item that costs less than a dollar, not more than $1000. And even then, my punishments would get harsher each time they did it. And, contrary to your belief that this taught the child nothing, I think this mother showed that she loves and cares about this child and the adult she will become by making her accountable for her actions. Otherwise, she may grow up to be a very irresponsible member of society. And by the way, I have never cheated on my taxes. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 31, 2007 10:44 AM:

" Yellin- best comment by far "I just would like those reading this to be proactive in their parenting instead of being reactive." If you read my post I did not say the kid should not be punished/talked to/ given time out/ spaked/ or smack along side the head for a wake up call! My point is their is some truth to FAMILY UNITY!!!!!!!!!!!! 11 years old is different than a kid messing up at 20 and getting bailed out! Kids need to make mistakes in order to learn from them. Calling the cops YOURSELF takes away trust. Turning into the person who was stolen from and letting them help in the decision of punishment- still shows trust, caring and disapline to the kids while saving FAMILY UNITY- yet not telling the kid she is already a menice to society! 11 YEARS OLD not 18 not 20- If she is stealing at 11 their is problems AT HOME- UNSUPERVISED, PARENT WOULD RATHER WATCH TV---------DID YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS SAYING OR DID I WRITE TO FAST?????????????? "

StickTogether wrote on May 31, 2007 10:10 AM:

" I agree with Your all NUTS!!!! A child has to believe that no matter what their parents will support them and stand up with them even when they do wrong. It should have been handled internally and within the family. The computer should have been returned anonymously. To have turned in her own child for a crime is just plain wrong, wrong, wrong. Families need to stick together at all costs. The cops should never become involved in family matters. It’s a code that apparently has been forgotten by some of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves if you believe otherwise. "

amazed wrote on May 31, 2007 7:39 AM:

" I work in human services. I see mixed up kids and families all the time. This mother absolutely did the right thing. If she would let this go...what would be the next thing? And you can bet there would be a next time and a next thing. What is wrong with letting kids "own up" to what they have done wrong? I am amazed that there are so many people who feel this was the wrong thing to do. Unconditional, parental love does not mean you turn your back on what they do...it means you teach your kid right from wrong. It means you love them no matter what they do but you teach them to face what they have done wrong. To many parents in this society continually turn their backs on what their kids are doing wrong. They confront teachers, coaches and the police and bail them out of every problem and issue their kids have. They pay their bills, post their bails and basically lie for their children. I see what kind of adults these kids grow into...society is not doing these kids any favors. "

New Award wrote on May 31, 2007 7:28 AM:

" Mom of the year! "

Yellin wrote on May 31, 2007 12:04 AM:

" I would like to congratulate the mother, but I think by doing so would be missing the point. Typically, at this age, children know right from wrong. So when they choose to do something wrong, it is their way of seeking attention. The child stole one computer and didn't receive the desired response; the child chose to do it again. The parent(s) may need to take a look at why the child is stealing. No social service (juvenile programs) can take the place of the role of a parent. It wasn't an easy decision to turn her child in for theft, and in doing so, she may lose some parental control of her child. Once the police become involved, a child thinks that they need to do something drastic to get their parent's attention. I am not trying to be critical; I just would like those reading this to be proactive in their parenting instead of being reactive. Dare to discipline; social behavior often falls below expectations so set your expectations high and most importantly, live your life as a good example. When you cannot look your child straight in the eye and tell them honestly that you've never done drugs, abused alcohol or have not broken the law, it sends your child a mixed message, "Do as I say, not as I do." The role of a parent is so incredibly important. Screwing up as a parent literally can ruin a child’s life. This family has a long road ahead of them. I hope they take the time to rebuild their trust in one another and become stronger because of it. "

It's a fine line. wrote on May 30, 2007 10:20 PM:

" Sometimes when you have a child that seems to be on the fence between going down the wrong path and the right path, one meeting with the cops is enough of a taste to help guide them in the right direction. It sure was a wake up call for me. I have never been so scared as the day I was fingerprinted and photographed and I was 18! My parents knew it was coming, but were at their wits ends as to how to help me. Since that day I have done a complete 180, and never looked back. I pray for God to help this mom through this difficult time, and for the girl to realize this is her chance to make that same decision. I hope she makes the right one. "

To you are all nuts... wrote on May 30, 2007 10:16 PM:

" you are nuts!!! From what you wrote it sounds like it is the parents only job to love the child, and everyone outside the family is to discipline the child. As far as the stolen candy, that was just last year, so really it is in the time period. Nothing you wrote makes any sense. Let's do a quick review of law...there is a law that says stealing is against the law...it's the cops job to reinforce the law...the girl stole a computer, therefore she broke the law, therefore the cops should be involved. Did you understand that, or did I write too quickly for you to follow. This was a second offense of stealing, the first was apparantly handled between the parents and the school. It is only expected the second time, it would be taken to the next level. And to mom of two...I think this situation is VERY different from what you experience, so comparing the two is not possible. "

Sunshine wrote on May 30, 2007 8:25 PM:

" Good job Mom-- It had to be a hard thing for you to do, but, you just may have saved your child and yourself alot of heartache for the future. As long as she learned from her wrongdoing, she may never do it again. There are times when a child needs to know that there are consequences for their actions, (As well as us grown-ups) . Hope someday that little girl thanks her Mother for lcaring and loving her so much! "

Mom Of two wrote on May 30, 2007 8:12 PM:

" To no matter what you do, I agree with you totally. Some of these parents just dont know what kind of nightmare they are creating for there children by calling the cops. Even though their juv. record is supposed to be sealed when they turn 18, THEY ARE NOT REALLY EVER CLOSED. Just look at the sex offenders web site. On all of them their juv. records are brought up.I know from experience.I was abandned by my mother at the age of 15 and I had a infant. Every time she wanted to run she would call the cops on me and tell them I was unruly.I would get locked up and she was free to run. I still havenightmares from being locked up just because I was an incovenice to my mom.Way to go mom . Your child will end up with real issues now. "

Your all NUTS!!!! wrote on May 30, 2007 6:54 PM:

" You are all crazy people. Call the cops. Shame on YOU ALL!!!!! What has this taught your child on unconditional love. The COPS HAVE NO BUSINESS IN OUR EVERYDAY MESS UPS!!! How many of you cheat on your taxes????????????? Take care of your own family messes. If the principle turns her in that is the principles punishment out side of your family- Girl has to own up. None of you are as perfect as you THINK you are. I am sure when the kid grows up you have taught her nothing but that YOU ARE A HIPOCRIATE. Lets turn everyone in and let the government control us all!!! Comparing to stealing candy- DIFFERENT TIME PERIOD, and even then you were taken back to the store WHERE THE OWNER HAD THE SAY IN THE PUNISHMENT. GOOD ONE MOM- guess that kid will learn how to hide things better- YOU REALLY TAUGHT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Great job mom! wrote on May 30, 2007 5:06 PM:

" This mother is a good example of what many parents here in Bismarck could definitely learn from. To those of you that say she jumped the gun on calling the cops, re-read the article. This was the second time this kid stole a computer. She obviously didn't learn the first time. It may have been a tough call to make, but it was the right one. To many kids are being taught today that "mommy and daddy will make it all better" and that it is okay to steal as long as you apologize later. I called the cops on two kids that I caught stealing where I worked. I even caught it on video tape. The parents yelled at me and not the kids when I turned them into the cops! "

To no matter what you do... wrote on May 30, 2007 5:03 PM:

" You must be misinformed. Those services are there to help your children. You need to take another look at your child. If they seem to be knocking on your door frequently to talk to your kid, chances are your kid is up to something. I love my younger brother to death, but for some reason everytime something happened in my home county, the county deputies would come knock on our door. Of course my brother would maintain his innocence, and accuse them of "picking on him". I learned out later that 99.9% of the time, they were looking at the right person, he was just really good at getting away with these pranks. I'm not saying you shouldn't give your child the benefit of the doubt, just don't be completely blind and ignorant to what they are really doing. Because sometimes, yes, your child did do it. "

RLC wrote on May 30, 2007 4:26 PM:

" I know MY mom wouldn't have called the police first thing. First thing she'd have done was knock some sense into my head! And I would have deserved it, I can tell you that! I'm not saying this mom didn't teach her kid right from wrong, but my parents made it VERY clear that doing wrong was a disapointment, and that was worse than anything I could do. I think I got a spanking when I was 3, nothing that would leave a mark by any means, but it was enough to let me know that acting up and doing wrong wouldn't be tolerated. Of course, that was back when you could actually scold your child without fear of police action because of child abuse. I know that this mom did the right thing in this situation. Some kids are truly hard to control and this is probably the best thing she could have done. I say good for you. "

Proud of You wrote on May 30, 2007 3:02 PM:

" I want to let this mom know that I am proud of her decision. It could not have been easy to do. It is good to know that there are parents in the world that can actually see when their child is doing something wrong!! TO Mistakes happen~ Remind me to not let my kids play with yours! An aplogy is not always the way to fix a problem. There are times when a child needs to know that there are consequences for your actions! "

You should be proud of your self Mom!! wrote on May 30, 2007 2:21 PM:

" Kudos to you. Kids these day's expect to much on a silver platter. I to am a single mother of two. (11 and 5) I would do the exact same thing that this Mother did. We all are raising perfect children. I'm glad that someone stands up for them and say's........"hey baby this is wrong. I love you and I want you to see just how wrong it is" Your heart probably hurt but you still know that you did the right thing. God smiles on you every day. "

Another Angle wrote on May 30, 2007 1:05 PM:

" I'll assume a lot of learning for many readers have come from mistakes. Although this isn't taking a piece of candy, the concept remains the same. My other angle would have been to contact the Principal, whether that be at his/her home. Have the child explain to the Principal what happened and why. The Principal would still contact authorities because that is the right thing to do. At this angle, I feel there would have been two lessons learned "

No matter what you do, you lose... wrote on May 30, 2007 12:37 PM:

" I, too, believed my kid needed to be held accountable for his wrong doing and turned him into the police. Sadly, my good intentions had the opposite effect upon the situation. Getting the cops involved with juvenals IS NOT a good idea. Regardless of what Juvenial Services say, THEY ARE NOT THERE to help your child. They will make you and your child's life hell. You are both suddenly labeled "bad people". The cops will come by and want to interrogate your kid every single time a juvenial crime is reported. Unless your kid is a hopeless case, don't ever choose to have them 'sent' if you have anything to say about it. "

Proud wrote on May 30, 2007 11:39 AM:

" May I say, Good Job to the mom, Many parents are to worried about what other people will say about them and their children. You did the right thing for your daughter's sake. At her age, may she learn a lesson and not get involved with the police again. She might be very upset with you now, but will thank-you later on in life. I turned my own son in at the age of 16 for drinking. He does remember that well and now is 27, and he said that was the best thing I have ever done for him, or he might have never been alive now, since him and his friends always did drink and drive. Again good job mom, and it doesn't matter what other people say, tell them to worry about their own life before trying to worry about yours!!! "

mary wrote on May 30, 2007 11:07 AM:

" whats going to happen to the girl.how about so many hours of community service maybe that would deter stuff like this,just a thought. "

To JV wrote on May 30, 2007 10:18 AM:

" JV, I agree with you. That is just it...today's society teaches our children that we as parents cannot spank/discipline them when needed. That's why we have so many disrespectful children and it is just going to get worse. Stealing at 11 yrs. old? When I was 11 yrs. old I was more worried about riding bike, playing with my friends, ect...not stealing a computer. "

kudos wrote on May 30, 2007 10:17 AM:

" You know, this had to have been hard on the Mother too, to make a decision like this about her daughter. I don't think she over reacted at all. It takes a lot of guts to admit that your own flesh and blood was in the wrong. I say "good job Mom" as well! May the daughter learn a lesson from all this. "

Stepper wrote on May 30, 2007 10:13 AM:

" I am interested in finding out what "trust" this mother violated for her child? The "trust" that no matter what wrong she does, mom will make it okay? or the trust that Mom loves her and has the courage to see to it that her child learns that stealing is wrong. This is not an isolated incident if the child had already returned another computer. Undisciplined children are unloved children. Better a citation now than jail time later for bigger theft. This mother showed courage and is not afraid to be a parent. She is not her child's best friend, she is the mother and acted like a good one. Good job mom. "

JV wrote on May 30, 2007 9:53 AM:

" Maybe if some people would learn how to discipline their children at a young age they would'nt have these problems, my parents did and it did'nt hurt a thing and you knew better the second time around, but then the soical workers would'nt have a job. Its pretty bad when you can't spank your children on the behind when they need it sometimes without someone intervening. "

agree with mistakes happen wrote on May 30, 2007 9:15 AM:

" This should have never gotten as far as it did, inviting the public to look at your child and yourself and make judgements. As a parent , sure you are responsible for your child but on the hand you also have the responibility of making sure you have your child's trust. This is really important to have with your child. Children are very vulnerable, the best decision would have been to talk to the school principle and go from there. I will say this, Mom your child is going to need a lot of your time now. "

In response to MistakesHappen wrote on May 30, 2007 9:07 AM:

" It sounds like she has already did let her daughter return one computer without police intervention. This was the SECOND computer she had stolen from the school. If you keep letting people get by with an 'I'm Sorry' over and over, they will never learn. I should hope that when this girl grows up and is mature enough to see that her mother was doing what she needed to do to teach her, she will have way more respect than the kid next door whose parents bail them out every time they do something wrong. I would rather have my kid be angry with me for a while than look at me as an infinite pocket book. Come on! She is 11, old enough to know that it is wrong to steal. What do you think she'd be stealing by the time she is 16 if she is already stealing laptops? She didn't just take a candy bar from the store. Great job Mom! "

To mistakeshappen wrote on May 30, 2007 9:06 AM:

" Mistakes? This isn't a mistake. I have an 11 year old daughter and have no doubt that kids this age know exactly how serious stealing is. This wasn't a book from a library or a piece of candy. It's sad to say but I know there are plenty of parents with your viewpoint and their kids are ill prepared for society because of it. "

Good Job Mom! wrote on May 30, 2007 8:32 AM:

" It is good to see a parent who can see thier kid's wrong-doings. "

MistakesHappen wrote on May 30, 2007 8:09 AM:

" Instead of making her daughter face juvenile criminal charges by calling the police she should have made her daughter return the computer and ask the school principle for forgiveness. This crime by an 11 year old should never have gotten to the attention of the police. Now this woman daughter will never trust her mother again. Way to go mom. "

KG wrote on May 30, 2007 7:59 AM:

" An 11 year old is old enough to know that stealing is wrong and kudos to her Mother for making the child accountable for her actions. "

dj wrote on May 30, 2007 6:48 AM:

" Way to go mom!!! I bet will think twice before she ever steals again! "

Mom wrote on May 30, 2007 6:05 AM:

" Good for this mother. She did the right thing by turning in her daughter. I am sure it was not an easy thing to do, but she is making her take responsibility for her actions, which not every parent is willing to do. Hopefully this will teach the daughter a lession. "

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